View From The Top

I’ve mentioned before that I enjoy singing in my church choir.  In our church, the choir sits in a loft above and behind the pastor.  From our perch, we can see the whole congregation – both below on the floor and above in the balcony.  While I sometimes find myself playing “Where’s Waldo?” with various friends in the congregation, I can usually keep my attention focused on the pastor.

Today was a different story. 

Up in the balcony was a man that we couldn’t help but notice.  During the time of worship with songs, he was throwing his arms about and making extreme movements with his body.  It was quite mesmerizing to watch, and I found myself losing my place in the music a few times as I kept my eye up to see what he would do next. 

Once the music was over and the preaching began, he got up and walked out.  A deacon casually stood up and followed him outside.  In a few minutes, the deacon came back in and my mind went back to the sermon (which was actually quite good today).  Then, right as our pastor was wrapping up his sermon, the man strolled back into the sanctuary and took his same seat in the balcony.  This time, however, he was carrying a jacket and hiding something inside.

I started to get a little nervous, wondering what he was hiding.  He slithered one arm out of his jacket while holding firmly to an object hidden on the other side.  Then he switched hands and slid out of the other arm.  Then he took the jacket and wrapped it around his object.  The ladies seated around me in the choir loft started whispering and expressing concern. 

Finally, my friend who was sitting behind me decided to slip out and find her husband, who is one of the associate pastors.  Soon, the man picked the object up, still wrapped in his jacket…and…took a drink.  That’s right.  He took a drink.  It was obviously liquor of some sort.  I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that it wasn’t a gun, my mind thinking of all the terrible things that could have happened.  About that time, our security officer made an appearance at the balcony exit and another staff member stood guard at the opposite end. 

After the final prayer, the man exited by the security officer, and I’m not privy to what happened next.  I did hear rumors, however, that he was drinking Jack Daniel’s out of a Sprite bottle.  Apparently, instead of being moved by the Spirit, he was moved by “spirits.” (i.e. whiskey)

Who ever said church was boring?