21 Rules of This House – Rule #2

If you are recently joining me on this series, here’s a link to all 21 Rules.  And here are my thoughts on Rule #1. 

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Rule #2 – We love, honor, and pray for one another.

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This one is huge.  Basically, the first two rules are the foundation of all that follows.  We love God (Rule #1), and we love others (Rule #2). 

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:27

I guess the first thing to point out is that Rule #2 is about others.  Not ourselves.  It’s a hard concept to explain in our self-obsessed society.  Instead of worrying about what others do or don’t do to make us “happy”, we should strive to put others first by looking for ways to serve each other. 

Can you imagine what a home would be like where every family member looked for ways to show love and serve?  Where we always showed respect and consideration, and prayed faithfully for each other? 

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.  James 5:16

Webster’s Dictionary defines honor as:  “to regard or treat someone with admiration and respect.”  From a young age, we should be teaching our children to treat family members in this way.  Not just parents and other adults…but siblings as well. 

We should strive to make our home a haven from the world…a place where we speak kindly to each other, consider each other’s needs, and look for ways to show love.  What a wonderful legacy to leave our children!

Here are some practical suggestions for how to implement Rule #2:

• Insist that everyone (including parents) speak to each other kindly and respectfully.
• Nix the sarcasm.  Especially the kind that is belittles others.  (I’m surprised lightening didn’t strike when I typed this…I need to work on it.)
• Share prayer requests with each other during family devotionals and/or mealtimes.  Pray together.  Consider helping your kids keep a prayer journal.
• Recognize and reinforce kindness.
• When we sin against each other, apologize and show forgiveness.
• Don’t hold grudges. (Second lightening strike.)
• This one is OH SO IMPORTANT, and it’s for parents:  Don’t discipline in anger.  Discipline in love.  Anger and indignation have no place in a discipline situation.  Take a minute…pray…then come back and handle things calmly. 
• Make a game out of doing kind things for each other.  Secretly do something nice, then have fun guessing who did what!
• And, finally…express your love to each other.  For some people this is easy.  For some people it’s very difficult.  The bottom line is we need to hear the words “I love you.”  Children, especially, need to hear these words from their parents.  Just because you say it a lot doesn’t make it mean any less!

As always, I welcome your thoughts on this post!  The first two rules are pretty heavy.  Really, if we truly understood and obeyed the first two rules, there would be no need for Rules #3-21!

21 Rules of This House – Rule #1

Thanks for all the feedback via my blog, Facebook, and e-mail.  It looks like a lot of you share my interest in Gregg Harris’s 21 Rules of This House!  My husband already publically committed to work on following #14-19, bless his heart.  He’s not the only one…I struggle as well.  My prayer is that by working through these rules, we will be on the road to a happier and more peaceful home!

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Rule #1 – We obey God.

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I love that the first rule is the foundation on which the other 20 rules are written, as well as the foundation of the first four 10 Commandments.  In order to obey God, we must acknowledge God as our creator.  He made us and is the author of our life. 

“You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For you created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created.” Rev. 4:11

In His great mercy, He takes care of us.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:6

This doesn’t mean that we only love and obey God when things are going our way.  God does not promise that our lives will be free of trials!  This is what He promises:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

How can we NOT want to love and obey God when He gives us the gift of eternal life?  Even though we don’t deserve it!  The hardships of this life are but a moment in the expanse of eternity.  {Lord, help me remember this.}

Because of these truths, we should have a heart that seeks to understand God and obey Him more every day.  It’s a whole new way of thinking!  Everything we do, say…how we act, speak…what we spend our time doing…how we spend our money…our WHOLE LIVES should be lived in a way that seeks to obey God simply because we love Him and are thankful for the gift of eternal life. 

When we shift our way of living from how to please ourselves to how to please God, it gives us great freedom AND happiness!  Instead of being slaves to our own sinful desires, we can finally love others, forgive others, experience contentment, and have true joy in Christ.  It is the journey of the Christian life…and it always ends with the joy of eternal life with Christ.

Practically speaking, here are some ideas of how we can implement this rule in the home:

• Read the Bible.  Read the teachings of Jesus, read Proverbs, do a word study on the word “obey.”  There are some great examples in the Old Testament of kings of Israel who did not obey God…and the destruction that followed.  Conversely, there were kings who did obey God…and were blessed.
• Have a regular time of family devotions.  What better way for our kids to learn how to love and obey God?  When we spend time outside of church studying Scripture, it communicates to our kids how important God’s truths are! 
• Think before we speak/act. (“What does God teach about this?  How would God have me respond?”)
• Make obeying God part of our conversation.  Talk out loud with our kids about different choices and which choices are obedient to God.
• Post these things around the house:  10 Commandments, verses that talk about obeying God (Acts 5:29, Rom. 6:17, Heb. 5:9, etc.), 21 Rules of This House.

Thanks for following along.  I would LOVE to hear from you!  Perhaps you have comments, questions, or additional ideas about how to implement this rule in your home.  I welcome all feedback!

21 Rules of This House

A while back, I attended a small group fellowship for young families in my dad’s church.  My dad, as pastor, was working through Gregg Harris’s 21 Rules of This House.  I was struck by the wisdom and simplicity of the rules.  They just make sense.  This list was posted on the refrigerator when I was a kid, and the lessons have stuck in many ways.  I’d like them to stick in more ways!

I decided at that time to work through the rules on my blog.  I want to do this to expose people that might not otherwise have seen them, but also to work through them for my own family’s benefit!  All comments and feedback are welcomed from anyone who wants to follow along with me!

Of course, it’s important to remember that the ultimate rules for living come from the 10 Commandments and the teachings of Jesus Christ, but these 21 simple rules are a practical application of how we are taught to live in Scripture. 

What I would like to do is take one rule per week and just give my thoughts on how to apply it to the home.  I want to correlate it with the 10 Commandments and other verses in the Bible.  I want to share how Todd and I plan to teach the rule in our home.

Without further ado….here are the 21 Rules of This House!

1. We obey God.
2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
3. We tell the truth.
4. We consider one another's interests ahead of our own.
5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
15. When we open something, we close it.
16. When we take something out, we put it away.
17. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.
21. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Home Again

Grace and I thoroughly enjoyed our trip down to Louisiana to visit my family.  It was so good to see my sis-in-law and nieces before they traveled back to Hawaii.  Grace and the girls played together the whole time they were together!  And time with Mimi and Granddaddy is always exciting for us!

Unfortunately, when my sis-in-law arrived home to Hawaii after a long plane flight over the Pacific with two little ones, she discovered that her home had been infested by rats.  Several things were eaten up and ruined including:  a leather couch, mattress box springs, kitchen cabinetry, toys, shoes, and many other things.  Apparently, paradise has it’s drawbacks.  After Terminex, a cleaning company, and several nights in a hotel, they are safely back in their home…sans creepy critters.

The 9-hour drive back to Texas was uneventful, and I came to realize that long periods of time spent alone can be beneficial.  (Grace was virtually invisible and stayed quiet with her movies and books).   In addition to counting all the dead animals on the side of the road…109 to be exact…, I had time to ponder and think on things.  Some of eternal significance, some petty.  One of things I thought about was the direction I want to go with this blog.  In addition to being a written scrapbook of sorts for my family, I’d like to do another book study or series of some kind…something about family, home, and/or parenting.  I’m still trying to decide what to pick!  Suggestions are welcome!

It took me several days to unpack and get back in the swing of things.  I’m taking a Wilton cake decorating course right now which requires a lot of homework.  Ironically, I’ve also gotten a sudden influx of cake requests.  As we speak, I’ve got a cake the oven for a church anniversary party on Sunday.  It’s the biggest order I’ve gotten…a sheet cake to feed 100 people!  Next week I’m making a fancy baby shower cake and a 3-tier fondant cake!  It’s a lot of work, and I’m not sure yet if this cake decorating endeavor will be worth the money, but it sure is fun!  I’ll post pics as I finish.

Grace is under the weather.  She woke up today with a nasty cough, fever, and vomiting.  She also literally fell on her face yesterday while pretending to be a kitty cat and injured her front tooth.  There was so much blood that the boy I babysit turned white and ran in the next room!  After I got her cleaned up,  Barbie and the Three Musketeers took her mind off the trauma while I called the dentist.  Basically there’s nothing to do.  Since the tooth is now pretty loose, it will probably fall out soon.  She’ll get an x-ray in a couple of weeks at her next check-up to make sure there’s no damage to the permanent tooth underneath.  I’m really looking forward to the sideways glances in the McDonald’s playground, “Don’t you take care of your kid’s teeth?”  Ahh, parenthood.

This morning, despite the coughing, fever, vomiting, sore tooth, and swollen lips, she was the most dramatic about a hangnail.  A hangnail.  After she threw up for the third time in an hour, I asked her how she was feeling, and she said, “My finger still hurts, mama.”  Bless. Her. Heart.

Kindergarten Contemplations

It’s hard to believe that I’m even writing this post because I am having difficulty with the fact that my baby will soon be old enough for school.  It really doesn’t seem like five years since Todd and I held her in our arms and thanked God for her miraculous birth!  And I’ve heard it only gets faster…

We have some big decisions coming up in the next couple of months about Grace’s education.  There are so many things to consider.  Of course, each option has both pros and cons, and we are prayerfully seeking the best choice for us.

Side note:  This post is not meant to criticize any school or program.  A parent’s right to determine the best education for their child(ren) is a highly personal and subjective matter.  There is no right answer for everyone!

Todd and I have not made a final decision yet, but here are the options that are available and my thoughts on the matter:

1.  LOCAL PUBLIC SCHOOL

PROS:  I am a former employee of the current district in which we reside.  I know a lot of people and I have a high level of confidence in the kindergarten program in our neighborhood school.  This is obviously the easiest option for us to choose because it is FREE and CONVENIENT (a short walking distance from our home).  It would be quite easy for me to become involved in the school.  A few of Grace’s friends from church will be beginning this school in the fall, so she will see some familiar faces.  It would also be nice to be a part of the local community in which we live.

CONS:  The class size is large (up to 21) and Grace has a tendency to get lost in the crowd.  She is rather quiet and reserved (until you get to know her), and she doesn’t bring a lot of attention to herself.  I’m afraid that she might not get as much academic attention as she would in another option.  Also, I’ve been in a lot of kindergarten classes and I’ve seen a lot of shocking things.  Regardless of how excellent the teacher is, in a public classroom, Grace will be exposed to things I would rather her not see.  I have no desire for her to grow up in a bubble, completely shut off from reality, but Todd and I have a responsibility to protect her as best we can.

2.  LOCAL CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

PROS:  Smaller class sizes and an emphasis on spiritual growth are the biggest advantages to this option.  The academic rigor is also well-known.  Many of our church friends attend and/or work in this school.  The location is convenient (about 2-3 miles), and the area is very safe.  Most of the families/employees in this school share similar values and I know it would be a great place for us to get involved and make new friends.

CONS:  The main problem is cost.  Private school is quite expensive, and in order for Grace to attend this school, I would need to go back to work.  This is something that we are considering, but it is not ideal.  When I resigned from public education three years ago to become a full-time homemaker, we realized that it was exactly what our family needed.  That topic warrants an entire post, but everyone is happier since I stepped out of the workforce.

3.  LOCAL FINE ARTS CHARTER SCHOOL

PROS:  This is a relatively new charter school with an excellent reputation.  The kindergarten class size is only 12, and there is an emphasis on fine arts:  ballet, music, and art.  This is right up Grace’s alley.  Instead of one ballet class per week, she would receive classical ballet four days per week.  The academic rigor is respectable as evidenced by high testing scores.  The convenience is good (about 5 miles away) in a safe area.  I have friends who have put their children in this school and are very happy.  I am looking forward to a tour with the principal next Tuesday where I can learn more about the curriculum and see the learning in action.  Another wonderful benefit is that this is a FREE option! 

CONS:  It is still a public school venue, and many of the challenges would be the same as in our local public school option.  And, since Todd and I were both former fine arts teachers in a public school setting, I can say with some level of experience that artsy people are different.  World views, philosophies, values, etc. are not always going to be consistent with what we are teaching her in our home.  That’s not necessarily all bad, because it will provide opportunities for us to talk and teach her things from a biblical perspective.  But we also feel a responsibility to surround Grace with like-minded friends and teachers to give her a solid foundation before she spreads her wings and flies off into the world!

4.  HOMESCHOOL

This is the option that both excites and scares me the most.  There are moments when I think, “I can do this!  It’ll be fun!”  And there are other moments when I tell myself, “No way.  What if I do a terrible job?  What if I forget to teach her something?  What if …?  What if…?”  Anyway, here goes:

PROS:  I honestly believe this is what Todd wants.  For whatever reason, he thinks I will do a good job. I also believe that Grace would love it.  She enjoys our times of reading and learning that we do together now, and I think that it could naturally progress into a more structured homeschool setting.  The most obvious advantage to homeschooling is that Todd and I make the decisions about what and how to teach her: spiritually, educationally, etc.  There is great freedom in the homeschool classroom, and I could tailor our program to meet her needs exclusively.  There is a HUGE homeschool support system in our area, and many families that I esteem highly have chosen this path for their children.  There are programs that I could take advantage of like co-op groups and TAFA (Travis Academy of Fine Arts), which is a fabulous fine arts education program for homeschool children in our area.  There is also great flexibility in the homeschool schedule.  I could decide to take a day to explore the local children’s museum or observe animals at the zoo or learn about Texas history at the Cowgirl Museum.  In addition to standard kindergarten curriculum, I would have time to spend teaching her things that I love like cooking, sewing, music, etc. 

CONS:  My biggest fear is that I won’t do a good job.  But, I guess it’s kind of like parenting:  you seek God’s guidance through scripture and pray for the discipline to do what is right.  Although I have moments of fear, I have finally come to a peace that if I approach this with a heart that is willing and eager to train Grace “the way she should go” (Prov. 22:6) that God will bless that endeavor.  If we do choose to homeschool, then there will be the expense of curriculum, setting up a learning environment at home, and enrolling her in enrichment activities like athletics and/or dance.  We would also pay for TAFA and memberships to places like museums, the zoo, etc.  These expenses are minimal compared to the cost of private school, but they are expenses nonetheless.  We also have concerns that Grace is an only child.  She is naturally shy, although she seems to be gaining more confidence every day.  We would counter this challenge and provide her opportunities for socialization through church, homeschool groups, TAFA, sports teams, ballet classes, etc.

I do have the added comfort of knowing that even if we make the “wrong” decision and our situation doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world.  It’s not like we’re committing to one plan of education for the next 13 years!  We can always re-evaluate and follow a different path on a future date. 

As you can see, we have a lot to think and pray about.  I would appreciate any words of wisdom or guidance from folks out there who have faced similar decisions.  I realize that everyone’s situation is different, so please feel free to leave thoughts about your own experience!

Princess For A Day

Grace has been doing great on stopping her thumb-sucking habit.  I haven’t seen her do it in several weeks!  Last time we visited the dentist, he encouraged us to start trying to kick the habit…she’ll need braces regardless due to her mama’s genetic overbite, but stopping the thumb-sucking will curb the work that needs to be done.

I spoke to several friends to get suggestions about kicking the habit.  I still have nightmares about that horrible-tasting stuff that my mom put on my thumb as a child, and I only wanted to do that as a last resort.  Here are the two techniques that worked for us:

1. Provide a replacement item that is held in the thumb-sucking hand at night.  For us, it was a poodle dog beanie baby that “sleeps” under her pillow at night.  She holds Duchess with her right hand and keeps it under her pillow, far away from her mouth.
2. Offer an incentive when she consistently demonstrates kicking the habit.  For us, it is nail polish on her fingers.  We told her that she cannot put nail polish in her mouth, so she can only get her fingernails painted when she doesn’t suck her thumb.  After a few days of not sucking her thumb, we made a big production of going to CVS and picking out her favorite nail polish color!

Only one time have I needed to take off her nail polish because I caught her sucking her thumb.  It was quite traumatic for her, but I made the point!  She hasn’t done it since.

To celebrate several weeks of being thumb-free, we made our first visit to a nail salon!  For only $5, my local salon made her feel like a princess.  They cut, shaped, polished, and applied two sparkle flowers to her thumbs!  Although I nixed the bright neon green polish she picked out at first, she was in awe the whole time, perfectly happy and perfectly still! 

When we got home, she wanted to put on her Cinderella dress and pose!  Her favorite new place is the “painting store!”

Remembrance Day

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

From the official website:

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan Proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn't a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes."

Losing a child, born or un-born, is one of the hardest burdens for a person to bear.  This pain has touched my life as well as the lives of many people that I hold dear. 

Many women (and men) are reluctant to talk about the loss of an unborn child.  They might think intense grief is an over-reaction.  But it’s not.  It’s a real loss…a real life, real hopes, real dreams.  It’s not easy to “get over” and parents should allow themselves to go through the grieving process.

Here are some excellent suggestions of things to do this month to raise awareness and support for parents who lose a child. 

Despite the terrible and painful things that happen in this world, God is still good.  He has blessed me immeasurably in my life, and I look forward to praising His name with ALL my children when I get to Heaven. 

Tonsillitis

Grace woke up sick and out of sorts this morning, even fussier than she was yesterday.  There was also a slight yellow tint to her skin, a rash, and she didn’t want to eat breakfast.

Since she had no fever, I suspected that she was having side effects from the antibiotic.  Isn’t it strange how weird stuff always happens with kids at night and on the weekend?  So, instead of going to her regular pediatrician, we braved another trip to the urgent care clinic.

After waiting a few hours, we saw the doctor.  Grace’s throat was still very red (to my surprise) and the subsequent strep throat test was positive (again).  Apparently, the antibiotic has not cleared the infection since last Tuesday night.  She was diagnosed with tonsillitis caused by strep and given an antibiotic shot in the same dosage that would be given to a 200+ pound man.  The shot was so big that it was divided into two shots and given simultaneously by two male nurses that were holding her down while she was screaming “Help me, Mommy!”  I think it was as traumatic for me as it was for her.

Because of her yellowish color they also decided to do a liver function test via another traumatic blood draw.  I found out that when strep is untreated or not affected by antibiotic treatment, it can spread to internal organs.  We’ll find out those results tomorrow or Monday morning.  We must go back in 2-3 days for another strep test as well.

Even though she had no fever, they assured me that she was highly contagious.  I want to apologize now to my friends and family that we spent time with yesterday at the Founder’s Conference…if I had suspected she still had strep, I would not have taken her out of our home!  I’m praying that she didn’t pass it along to anyone else.

When I filled her new antibiotic prescription at the pharmacy, I couldn’t resist buying her a doll. 

To a 4-yr-old little girl, Tinkerbell makes everything better.

Things I Love Thursday – Devotional Books for Kids

It’s been a while since I participated in this carnival, but I thought I’d share a couple of books that we love to use for kid’s devotionals!  My friend Susan introduced these books to me, and I bought them on Amazon to use with Grace.

The first is The Jesus Storybook Bible:  Every Story Whispers His Name.  When I looked it up on Amazon to link, I saw that it’s only available now in the more expensive deluxe edition.  The original version is available on EBay for a better price.

What I love about this Bible book is that every story takes you right back to God’s plan for His people…salvation through Jesus Christ.  Even the Old Testament stories point to the coming Savior.  It is explained very clearly and is appropriate for both very young and older children. 

Another great book is My ABC Bible Verses:  Hiding God’s Word in Little Hearts. 

In this book, there is a Bible memory verse for each letter of the alphabet.  (Ex:  A is for “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”).  Each verse has a story that shows how to apply the verse in real life for kids.  It’s a great way to teach kids that we can use God’s Word to help us in every circumstance!

We try to have a short devotional each morning with Grace where we read the Bible, practice a memory verse, and sing a song.  If we’re running late for something, I’ll move it to naptime or bedtime.  It’s a favorite time of day for both of us!

For more Things I Love Thursday posts, visit The Diaper Diaries.

The Joys of Motherhood

The past 24 hours have not been very glamorous.  Grace came down with a nasty case of strep throat.  After spending 2 1/2 hours of my life that I’ll never get back in an emergency clinic, holding a 4-yr-old with a 104 fever, I look back and think of the pre-baby nights where my biggest decision revolved around choosing between a book, a TV show, or a crossword puzzle.  Or maybe even enjoying a leisurely dinner at a restaurant with my husband.

But I’m not complaining.  Not at all.  This is what I asked for, and this is what I am so thankful for.  Granted, I had to remind myself several times last night while I was cleaning up the vomit at 3:00 in the morning, but I wouldn’t trade my current job for anything in the world!

Grace has been so sweet while she’s been sick.  She has taken her nasty medicine without complaining, even though the taste makes her shudder.  She has cuddled and been very affectionate.  She has been obedient and happy.  I must admit that although it hurts me to see her sick, I have enjoyed a quiet day with her.  We watched movies and read books and did puzzles and played the piano. 

I even managed to get in a good workout and do some yard work while Grace rested in the afternoon.  Thankfully, she is feeling much better.  Her fever has come way down and she has more energy.  The vomiting has stopped, but she’s not really eating yet.  She’s been good about drinking fluids, though.  Here’s hoping for an uninterrupted night!

But truthfully, I wouldn’t trade sleepless nights and vomit for ANYTHING.  She is such a joy to me!  She is a totally undeserved gift from God.  He didn’t have to give her to us…God would have been just as good and powerful and holy if He had not.

But I’m so grateful that He did.

Our Little Angel

We’ve been having a new issue with our sweet Grace.  Lying.  Yes, she’s starting to figure out that she can lie about something in order to get what she wants.

Example:

When she finishes her meals after lunch or dinner, I will sometimes give her dessert.  She can pick a cookie or a fun pack of M&Ms, etc.  She doesn’t get dessert until she finishes everything on her plate.  Lately she’s been doing really well.  At dinner the other night, she finished her meal very quickly and proudly showed off her empty plate.  “Now I get a treat, Mama, because I ate ALL my food!” 

In a brief moment of mama’s intuition, I realized that she could not have eaten it all that quickly.  Especially the zucchini/squash stir-fry that she usually takes longer to eat…  So I asked her where the zucchini was.  She hung her head, stood up from her chair, and lifted the dining room chair cover.  Underneath was some fresh zucchini along with a variety of food from other meals over the past few days that she had hidden.  I asked her if there was food anywhere else.  She walked over to our low coffee table, got on her hands and knees, and pulled out a muffin from last Tuesday as well as some green beans and pieces of cheese. 

It’s truly a miracle that we haven’t seen any R.O.U.S.’s.  (Rodents Of Unusual Size…name that movie!).  Nor have we smelled anything, which is even more surprising. 

Needless to say, I had a great opportunity to teach her about what God thinks of lying.  Since then, she’s done it two more times.  On both occasions, I took the time to discipline her and teach her about honesty and trust.  My very wise friend Joy pointed out that she’s getting old enough to begin to comprehend her sinful nature and learn about why she needs a Savior. 

You know, we really shouldn’t be surprised when our kids lie.  Frankly, I’m surprised that we haven’t dealt in depth with this issue until now.  Since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, when sin entered the world, our human nature is completely self-centered.  That’s why we have to teach kids to love others, to share, to obey, to be respectful…it doesn’t come naturally. 

I think it’s important to not gloss over or chuckle when our kids do something like hide food in order to get dessert.  Teaching them when they are young about lying shows them that sin is serious.  It’s not “cute”, nor is it simply a developmental milestone.  It’s so serious that God had to send His only Son to die a blameless death on the cross in order to save us from our sin. 

My deepest desire, what I pray for most, is that one day Grace will realize her need for a Savior, accept God’s precious gift of salvation, and live a life of service to Him. 

In the meantime, I’ll just keep hoping I don’t run across any more hidden decomposing vegetables around my house.

Movie Musical Marathon

Today was lazy and rainy.  Todd spent the entire day in the library studying and writing for his summer class.  Since Grace and I couldn’t go outside to play and I didn’t really feel like venturing out in the weather, Grace and I decided to have a Movie Musical Marathon.

Our three M’s party was accompanied by the three P’s:  Pajamas, Popcorn, and Pedicures.  

We started with Barry Manilow’s Copacabana. 

Because this is the standard by which I judge all other musicals.  And it’s my job to give my child the best education possible about important things like musical theater and what can happen to a person’s face when they have too many plastic surgeries.

Case in point:

THEN…

 

NOW…

Then we moved on to Grace’s choice:  Annie. 

The REAL one, not the Disney remake.  She knows most of the words to the songs, and I love to hear her sweet voice singing along with the TV! 

For lunch we had the three S’s:  sandwiches, sour cream & onion rice cakes, and sherbet.  [Must. stop. alliterating.]  To make lunch a little more special, I dug out my cookie cutter collection [I should have been a Southern Baptist preacher.]  Why is it that I have never thought about cutting her sandwiches into pretty shapes before today?  She was delighted!  She had a bunny rabbit sandwich and I had an eighth note sandwich (in keeping with our Movie Musical Marathon theme). 

After lunch, we moved on to the lesser-known but very entertaining Barbie as the Island Princess. 

I’ve talked before about how much I like Barbie movies.  I know that many people feel like Barbie promotes an unrealistic idea of body image for a young girls, which could possibly lead to eating disorders. 

Here’s what I think:  WE should strive to be the main influences in our kid’s lives.  It’s ironic that I should say this when I’m describing a day where all we did was watch movies…but, if kids spend all their time with friends, movies, and TV, then those things will shape their values and attitudes.  If I allow Grace to watch a movie or TV show, I do my best to watch with her and interject comments or conversations about anything that is questionable…which I had to do a couple of times in Annie and Copacabana.  I also try to reinforce good things I see the characters doing. 

Anyway, back to Barbie. 

If you’re still reading this, bless your heart.

Barbie movies are squeaky clean and have positive messages.  Barbie is always respectful to her elders (unlike Nemo, Ariel, etc.) and sweet to her siblings (Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses).  There are no “Class B” bad words (stupid, shut up, etc.).  And the music/dancing is great, particularly in The Princess & The Pauper and Barbie in The Nutcracker. 

During naptime, I got some work done around the house and read for a while.  I should have done The Shred, but did I mention that I was still in my pajamas?  And we are having a rare lazy day?  Sweating shouldn’t enter into that perfect equation.

Now we’re watching The Sound Of Music and thinking about what to have for dinner. 

Update:  I just asked her what she wanted for dinner, and after thinking about it quite seriously she said, “Apples and M&M’s and chocolate milk.”  She settled for apples, peanut butter, cheese, and crackers.  With a fun pack of M&M’s for dessert.

Because I’m nothing if not consistent, I’ll leave you with a few R’s to describe our day:  rare, restful, rainy, relaxing, and remarkable. 

You Know You’re A Good Mom When…

you discover your child eating old chocolate chip cookies she found at the bottom of a shopping cart and you let her finish them because she’s “SO SO SO hungry!”

you allow your daughter to go “butterfly hunting” with two friends while you visit with the their mom.  Upon returning from the “hunt” with a live moth, you just smile and shrug as you watch your daughter squish the moth with her hand while trying to hold it, then lick her fingers.  *shudder*

you let your child drink your Pepsi Max right before bedtime because you’re too tired from The Shred to get up and go to the kitchen and get her some juice.

you realize while doing laundry that you forgot to wash your child’s bed sheets last week.

you find yourself rationalizing that a quick coat of hand sanitizer on your child’s major extremities would be a lot faster than bathtime.

you secretly take the batteries out of your child’s favorite Elmo doll because it’s the most annoying toy EVER, then act surprised and suggest that maybe Elmo is tired and wants to take a nap when your child wants to know why he doesn’t talk anymore.

you get to the end of the day and regret that you accomplished nothing on your to-do list…yet your daughter climbs into your lap and hugs you and says, “Thank you mama!  I had so much fun today!”

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

I always wanted a little girl.  I would have happily and thankfully accepted a baby boy because we wanted a child so badly for so long.  But, God knew how much I would love having a girl, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better than getting to spend my days at home with Grace.

The older she gets, the more fun it gets!  Her little personality is shining, full of quirks and surprises.  She is ALL GIRL.  She loves dolls, kitchens, dress-up, jewelry, pedicures, and pink.  She is insistent that her shoes match her clothes at all times.  Her bedroom must be completely picked up and organized before she is able to fall asleep at night.  She always wants a bow or some sort of decoration in her hair.  The tiniest speck of dirt on our backyard swing set must be wiped clean before she wants to play on it.  She loves a routine and wants to stick to it.  She always wants to know what is coming up and isn’t crazy about surprises.  We are definitely venturing into Type A/OCD territory. 

Some of her traits she learned from me, and some I can’t figure out where in the world she gets them!  God made her unique, created in His image with an individual personality, and I love her so much!

Her latest obsession is her upcoming ballet/tap dance class.  I made the unfortunate mistake of telling Grace about it way. too. soon.  I had to get her registered early to ensure a spot, and I just couldn’t resist seeing the look on her face when I told her she could start dance classes!  As a result, I am answering questions fifty-three times per day about when it will start (not until Aug. 31st!).

Her favorite accessory is the new tap shoe “because it makes LOTS of noise, Mama!”  Yes, I know.  I still hear the tapping in my head when I’m trying to fall asleep at night.

But I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world!  She brings so much joy to Todd and me, and we are eternally grateful for the huge responsibility we have been given to raise her in the Lord.

Hot Day

This afternoon the outside temperature reading on our car was 107 degrees.  Crazy.  My poor flowers in the front yard must be watered twice a day to keep from drooping!  But they’re still alive!  I had a close call on one of them, but it perked up when I moved it to partial shade.  I guess even plants that say “full sun” can’t handle July in Texas!

Grace and I went to a little water park today to meet for a play date with my best friend from high school.  It was so much fun to see her and catch up.  (Love you, Emily!)  We reminisced about the old days and swapped stories about raising kids.  It’s weird to see her with a son that is taller than both of us.  Where does the time go? 

It was also sweet to see Emily’s older sons helping to take care of her two little ones in the pool.  What a rare sight to see teenage boys being so nurturing to their siblings!  In this day and age it’s more common to see fighting and arguing, but it was nice to see her kids being so kind with each other.

When Grace and I got home, we were worn out from being in the hot sun, so we got cleaned up and had a lazy afternoon reading books and watching “The Rescuers” on my bed.  Jillian was calling me to do The Shred, but I just couldn’t resist cuddling with my favorite 4-yr-old and being transported to the magical world of Disney!

When Todd got home from studying in the library, Grace was so excited to tell him, “Mama took me to Dollywood, Daddy!”  I gave up trying to explain that the water park we went to today was NOT Dollywood, but in reality it looked just like the water park we went to on vacation!  In her little mind, it WAS Dollywood.

Good times.

Preschooler Quote(s) of the Day

Grace kept me laughing today and I had to share a few funny quotes!

[Said while picking her nose]:  “My Mimi told me to NEVER put my finger in my nose because it’s gross!”

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[We were at the crowded playground and she was hesitant about playing.]

Me:  “Why don’t you go climb up to the slide?”

Grace:  “Hmmm….well, actually, I thought about it….but there’s just too many kids!”

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[Conversation in the car coming home from Wal-Mart]

Grace:  “I’m so silly, mama!”  *giggles*

Me:  “Why are you silly?”

Grace:  “Well, actually, Granddaddy called me a ‘wiggleworm’ because I didn’t sit still in Granddaddy’s church!  That means I’m silly!”

Sidenote:  I thought she did pretty well in Granddaddy’s church.  She managed to sit through all the worship services we attended on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Youth Camp (about 10 total).  Not bad considering she’s still attending the children’s care at our home church.  She mostly flipped through her Bible or fell asleep.  I think Granddaddy’s ‘wiggleworm’ comment was referring to a service at Youth Camp where Grace wanted to go sit with my parents instead of me.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see her moving around constantly despite their warnings to be still.  I gave her the “mom glare with eyebrow raise” a couple of times to no avail.  I ended up taking her out and disciplining her for disobeying her grandparents.

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[Conversation while getting ready for naptime]

Me:  “Grace, it’s time to go to the bathroom before naptime.”

Grace:  “Oh, boy!  Can I use my potty?  PLEASE?”

Me:  “Um, yes.  Of course you can.”

Grace:  [Rushes upstairs, throws her arms around the potty and plants a big, wet kiss on the toilet seat]  “Potty, I love you SO MUCH!  You are so sweet!”

Me:  [Stares in stunned silence trying to figure out what the potty did to deserve such affection]

Being An Only Child

Disclaimer:  This post is not meant to be judgmental towards families who have only one child.  There are a host of reasons why some couples either choose or find themselves in the position of raising an only child…many are happy and healthy families!  These are just my rambling thoughts on the subject…

Grace is an only child.  I have finally made peace that my childbearing years are behind me, although I’m sure Todd and I will always grieve the fact that we cannot bear more children.  On our journey, we have found that there are several parenting challenges that seem to be magnified by the fact that Grace has no siblings.

Many people who grew up as the only child will tell you that there are lots of benefits…more individual time and attention from parents, feeling special, not having to share possessions, more financial freedom for the family to do special things, etc.  

However, there are lots of drawbacks as well.  These became more apparent to me over the last week.  Here’s a few that come to mind:

1. Less opportunity for the parents to teach empathy for others.  Let’s face it.  When you are an only child, it’s all about you.  You don’t have to share a bedroom, a bathroom, or a playroom.  You get all of your parent’s attention, and while at times this can be good, it can also lead to an unhealthy feeling of entitlement.  When there are siblings, there are tons of opportunities for parents to reinforce loving others, caring for others, problem-solving skills, and sharing. 
2. Loneliness.  As I’ve talked with others (including my husband) who were only children, this has been the most-mentioned challenge.  I can (somewhat) relate since I grew up with brothers who were not interested in Barbie dolls or Easy-Bake ovens.  I always dreamed of a sister that would share my same interests.  When I’m busy, Grace is lonely and is forced to learn how to entertain herself.  (I guess that’s not entirely bad…)
3. Less developed social skills.  This is not true for all only children, but it is true for Grace.  Less interaction with children has been one of the factors in her insecurity/fear when she is placed in situations where there are lots of other kids (Sunday School, parks, mall playgrounds, parties, etc.).  We are trying to counter this by getting her around others as much as possible through church activities, play dates, and outings.
4. Less independence.  Since Grace is the only child, I’m much quicker to swoop in and solve her problems than I would be if I were balancing my attention among other children.  I am purposefully mindful of letting her struggle and figure things out for herself at times, but my tendency is to come to the rescue.  That’s not always a good thing.  A little struggle is good, so I know that I need to let her try, fail, and learn on her own in order to gain some independence. 
5. Caring for aging/dying parents.  I can’t help but feel bad that Grace is going to have to choose a nursing home all by herself.  She won’t have a sibling to share the burden of dealing with my impending senility!

There are other issues, but this post is long enough already.  I guess I’ve just been thinking about it more lately because we’ve been in situations where I’ve witnessed more of the above traits in Grace.  And it just gets me to thinking, which is always dangerous. 

I certainly don’t want to seem ungrateful for having only one child.  The good Lord knows how thankful we are after so many years of praying for a baby!  But there are certain challenges that are unique to raising just one child, and I think it’s important to recognize them and deal with them honestly.

Favorite Childhood Book

A couple of weeks ago I had a sudden memory of one of my favorite childhood books.  I can remember my two brothers and myself begging mom and dad to read this book to us over and over!  It’s so much fun..it’s a Golden book called “There’s a Monster at the End of This Book.”  It stars our loveable, furry Grover from Sesame Street.

I won’t ruin the ending for you, but rest assured that it is delightful!  The message of this book is positive, too.  The lesson is that we need to face our fears, even if we think they are insurmountable.  A good lesson for adults, too! 

Anyway, I got online and found a new copy on EBay for just $1.  It came in the mail yesterday, and I think between Todd and myself we have read it at least fifty-seven times to Grace!  She even wanted to sleep with it last night.  And it is SO CUTE to hear her reading it to herself! 

30-Day Shred – Day 20

I’ll be glad when this 30-day thing is over.  It seems to be taking FOREVER.  Although I plan on keeping up my routine, I’ll limit my “fitness” posts to the Monday Milestones…once per week. 

Anyway, I got up this morning and did 45 minutes on the treadmill, then Level 2 with Jillian.  I’m starting to get a little too comfortable (and bored), so I’ll definitely try Level 3 tomorrow for the first time. 

It’s amazing to look back at what I was able to do three weeks ago compared to now.  I’m not breaking any records, mind you, but it’s nice to get through the workouts now without thinking I’m gonna die.  (I might take this all back tomorrow.) 

Grace has been so sweet while I’m exercising…she never fusses or tries to bother me.  She just plays quietly in her room or on the piano.  I’m trying not to feel guilty that I’m taking away 1 1/2 hours in the mornings that used to be more focused on her, but I also think it’s good for her to see me getting healthier.  And often, she will join in the exercise video with me.  When I’m done, I make a point to get on the floor and play with her for a while, thanking her for being patient while I was working out. 

Works For Me – Common Sense Media

I recently discovered a great website that gives detailed rating information on movies, TV shows, games, music, web sites, and books.  Common Sense Media is a non-partisan, not-for-profit organization whose mission is provide accurate information so we can make wise choices about what we are watching.

Sometimes this website gives recommendations (age-appropriate ratings, etc.) with which I do not agree.  However, what I do appreciate is the low-down on six main criteria:  violence, sex, language, consumerism, alcohol and/or drug usage, and message/role models.  We can read the review and then make a decision for our family based on the facts.

For example, we were considering whether to allow our daughter to see the new Monsters Vs. Aliens movie.  After reading the detailed review, we decided not to allow her to see it.  It is rated PG just like Bolt (which we LOVE!), but we learned that there are many more disturbing scenes of violence, sexual innuendos, words we don’t like, and disrespect for authority.  Movie ratings (G, PG, PG-13, R) are just too general and don’t give us enough details to make an informed decision.  This site works for us!

For more Works For Me tips, visit We Are THAT Family.