Don’t Make Me Count To Three! – Ch. 8

Welcome to the eighth week of our book study through Ginger Plowman’s Don’t Make Me Count To Three!   If you didn’t read, no worries!  Just join along with us anytime.  It’s quick and easy to get caught up.

This chapter dealt with verbal correction during discipline.  I love that Ginger began by challenging us to look at our own motives when administering discipline.  At some time or another, I believe that every mother has used angry words towards her children when she is embarrassed or inconvenienced by sinful behavior.  I am sad to say that I certainly have.  At times like that I am called to repent and ask forgiveness for responding in the wrong way.  The most impactful quote for me from this chapter was on pg. 86:

“If our motive is sinful, we will give reproof in a sinful way and our children will view it as a personal attack or an act of vengeance.  This may result in them becoming angry rather than repentant.”

Out of all the “angry” children I have worked with over the years as a teacher and a school counselor, I can assure you that behind every angry child, there is an angry caregiver.  One of two things usually happens…these same children will grow up and continue the cycle of verbal and/or physical abuse with their own children, or their anger and feelings of worthlessness will be turned against themselves and result in eating disorders, addictions, abusive relationships, etc.  Of course the good news is that God may choose, in His infinite mercy, to save them and help them walk a new path.  However, even if that happens, they will continue to struggle with remaining anger.

Oh, how important it is for us to examine our hearts and not be a stumbling block for our children!  And if we do respond in a way that is not honoring to God, we should confess our sin and ask forgiveness of our children.  Then, they need to see us respond in the correct way with love and self-control.  While certainly not ideal, God may choose to use our sin and repentance for good in our children’s lives rather than evil. 

The example that Ginger used on pp. 87-88 to teach our children not to interrupt was golden.  It’s definitely a work in progress in our household right now, but the concept of a child respectfully touching mom’s arm to get her attention is such a great way to train our children not to rudely interrupt.  When the mom covers her child’s hand with her own it is the perfect way to communicate, “I love you.  You are important to me.  Thank you for being patient until I can talk with you.”  Teaching a young child not to interrupt goes right along with teaching self-control, patience, and empathy for others’ needs.  Believe me, your child’s future Sunday School or classroom teacher will appreciate it!

I will close by mentioning the “Wise Words for Moms and Dads” chart that Ginger introduced on the last two pages.  I own this chart and have found it very useful.  When I first got it, I spent time in my Bible, reading all the correlating passages that Ginger has paired with the specific discipline issue.  Over time, I have added a few of my own verses that I have found to speak to an issue.  I don’t refer to it every day, but studying it has helped me be more prepared to respond with biblical reproof.  And, when a particular discipline issue keeps cropping up, I go to the chart and re-read the correlating Scripture passages to refresh myself on how best to respond.

I hope that this chapter was useful for you as well.  Next week we will begin to discuss the biblical use of the rod.  Always a hot topic in both the Christian and secular community!  I invite you to comment below on this week’s chapter.  Discuss amongst yourselves!