Friday, October 10, 2008
Todd's Adventure
Last night, Todd was taking a long time to get home. I had dinner ready, and we were just waiting on him to walk through the door. Around 6:00, he called me from his cell phone to tell me his car (which is actually my car...we switched for the day...another story) had just stopped working while he was driving down the interstate. All the lights went out and it just shut down. Thankfully, he was in the right lane and simply coasted to a stop on the side of the road.
He immediately called GEICO and asked for a tow truck. They said it would be a couple of hours, so he grabbed his laptop and walked about one mile down the interstate to the next exit. When he called me, he was at McDonald's. Grace and I met him there for a late dinner, then let Grace play on the playground until the tow truck guy called and said he was at the scene.
We are so thankful that God protected him when the car stalled and when he was walking down the interstate. I wish I had a picture of him in his suit and tie, carrying a huge laptop bag down I-20. I never did figure out why he didn't just ask me to pick him up at his car?
The jury is still out on the health of our van......
He immediately called GEICO and asked for a tow truck. They said it would be a couple of hours, so he grabbed his laptop and walked about one mile down the interstate to the next exit. When he called me, he was at McDonald's. Grace and I met him there for a late dinner, then let Grace play on the playground until the tow truck guy called and said he was at the scene.
We are so thankful that God protected him when the car stalled and when he was walking down the interstate. I wish I had a picture of him in his suit and tie, carrying a huge laptop bag down I-20. I never did figure out why he didn't just ask me to pick him up at his car?
The jury is still out on the health of our van......
Work Ethic in America
One of my biggest pet peeves is the lack of work ethic in many of today's workforce. I get frustrated with laziness, incompetence, and a general lack of concern about performing well on the job. A lot of this has to do with today's "I don't care" and "whatever" attitude that is so rampant among young Americans. Instead of hard-working and loyal employees being the norm, these exceptional employees are now the exception.
I'm posting about this societal problem today because I had several negative experiences yesterday:
1. When I went to the Disney store to present my receipt and pick up my pre-ordered copy of "Sleeping Beauty", I also purchased a cute shirt for Grace that was on the clearance rack for $2.79. The cashier unhappily bagged my purchase, then went back to gossiping with her co-worker after I turned to leave. I got about 20 feet out of the store before I started getting the feeling that the cashier hadn't given me my movie. Sure enough, the bag only had the shirt I bought. I turned around and walked straight back to the checkout counter. The same two girls were still talking and looked annoyed that I showed up again. I explained that I had given her my receipt for the movie, but had not received it in my bag. The girl that had just "helped" me less than one minute ago declared that I hadn't given her a receipt. Oh. yes. I. did. I reminded her that the receipt I gave her was stapled to a 15% coupon that I had used on my purchase. She reluctantly gave me a copy of the movie while the other employee glared at me like I was some kind of professional con artist.
2. From the Disney store, we went to Payless Shoes to find a pair of black Sunday shoes for Grace. I made my way to the "size 9" section to find that there were plenty of "8 1/2"s and "9 1/2"s, but no "9"s in the "size 9" section of the particular style I wanted. An employee was walking by, so I asked her if there were any more shoes in the back....the size I needed was not here. She quickly told me, "Nope, everything's out" and walked off. Since so many shoes were organized incorrectly on the shelf, I decided to search other sizes to see if a "9" was hiding somewhere. A different employee walked by and asked if she could help me. (There are excellent workers out there!) I explained that the size I needed was not available, and I was looking to see if it could be hiding in another area. She said, "We just got a new shipment in that's being unpacked in the back....let me go check for you!" I said, "Oh, another lady told me that everything was out." She replied, "Who said that? (I pointed) Oh, her! She just didn't want to go check." Thankfully, she found the exact pair of shoes I wanted in the back.
3. We ended up eating dinner last night at a McDonald's on the interstate next to where my husband's car broke down on his way home from work. (More on this story later). Anyway, I placed the order while Todd entertained Grace. I waited a few minutes, then received my tray of food. I noticed that they had put fries in Grace's Happy Meal instead of the apples I ordered. I asked the cashier to switch it out for me, and she did. I picked up the tray to walk off and realized that my chicken sandwish was missing. I asked for it and she added it to my tray. I picked up my tray to walk off again and realized that she hadn't given me my cups for our drinks. I had to wait another minute since she had wandered off from her station, but someone in the back asked me if I needed anything and got my cups for me.
4. I'm not going to even write a lot about my local post office....it would take much too long. Let's just say that if you need to mail a package, expect to stand in line for at LEAST 30 minutes because the service is so slow. I have never seen human beings move so slow and without concern for the customer in my life. And you'll wait even longer if there is a new Avon catalog out to distract them.
These are just a few examples....stuff like this happens all the time. I'm sure that you have had similar experiences. I don't THINK that things used to be this way, but correct me if I am wrong. Those of you who are more "mature", do you feel that the workforce is less caring/competent than, say, 25 years ago?
I'm not sure what the solution is....but, it scares me for our future. Paul warns against a poor work ethic and idleness in 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15. Proverbs 6:6-11 addresses the same issue. As a Christian, one of the first ways we can witness for Christ is by being an honorable employee. It will be noticed by un-believers. They will wonder what motivates us to work hard and perform honestly in our business dealings. Often times, it is the way to open the door to share our faith.
I'm posting about this societal problem today because I had several negative experiences yesterday:
1. When I went to the Disney store to present my receipt and pick up my pre-ordered copy of "Sleeping Beauty", I also purchased a cute shirt for Grace that was on the clearance rack for $2.79. The cashier unhappily bagged my purchase, then went back to gossiping with her co-worker after I turned to leave. I got about 20 feet out of the store before I started getting the feeling that the cashier hadn't given me my movie. Sure enough, the bag only had the shirt I bought. I turned around and walked straight back to the checkout counter. The same two girls were still talking and looked annoyed that I showed up again. I explained that I had given her my receipt for the movie, but had not received it in my bag. The girl that had just "helped" me less than one minute ago declared that I hadn't given her a receipt. Oh. yes. I. did. I reminded her that the receipt I gave her was stapled to a 15% coupon that I had used on my purchase. She reluctantly gave me a copy of the movie while the other employee glared at me like I was some kind of professional con artist.
2. From the Disney store, we went to Payless Shoes to find a pair of black Sunday shoes for Grace. I made my way to the "size 9" section to find that there were plenty of "8 1/2"s and "9 1/2"s, but no "9"s in the "size 9" section of the particular style I wanted. An employee was walking by, so I asked her if there were any more shoes in the back....the size I needed was not here. She quickly told me, "Nope, everything's out" and walked off. Since so many shoes were organized incorrectly on the shelf, I decided to search other sizes to see if a "9" was hiding somewhere. A different employee walked by and asked if she could help me. (There are excellent workers out there!) I explained that the size I needed was not available, and I was looking to see if it could be hiding in another area. She said, "We just got a new shipment in that's being unpacked in the back....let me go check for you!" I said, "Oh, another lady told me that everything was out." She replied, "Who said that? (I pointed) Oh, her! She just didn't want to go check." Thankfully, she found the exact pair of shoes I wanted in the back.
3. We ended up eating dinner last night at a McDonald's on the interstate next to where my husband's car broke down on his way home from work. (More on this story later). Anyway, I placed the order while Todd entertained Grace. I waited a few minutes, then received my tray of food. I noticed that they had put fries in Grace's Happy Meal instead of the apples I ordered. I asked the cashier to switch it out for me, and she did. I picked up the tray to walk off and realized that my chicken sandwish was missing. I asked for it and she added it to my tray. I picked up my tray to walk off again and realized that she hadn't given me my cups for our drinks. I had to wait another minute since she had wandered off from her station, but someone in the back asked me if I needed anything and got my cups for me.
4. I'm not going to even write a lot about my local post office....it would take much too long. Let's just say that if you need to mail a package, expect to stand in line for at LEAST 30 minutes because the service is so slow. I have never seen human beings move so slow and without concern for the customer in my life. And you'll wait even longer if there is a new Avon catalog out to distract them.
These are just a few examples....stuff like this happens all the time. I'm sure that you have had similar experiences. I don't THINK that things used to be this way, but correct me if I am wrong. Those of you who are more "mature", do you feel that the workforce is less caring/competent than, say, 25 years ago?
I'm not sure what the solution is....but, it scares me for our future. Paul warns against a poor work ethic and idleness in 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15. Proverbs 6:6-11 addresses the same issue. As a Christian, one of the first ways we can witness for Christ is by being an honorable employee. It will be noticed by un-believers. They will wonder what motivates us to work hard and perform honestly in our business dealings. Often times, it is the way to open the door to share our faith.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Two-Minute Warning
Today Grace and I went to the mall to pick up a pre-ordered copy of Disney's "Sleeping Beauty" anniversary edition. (Thanks, Mimi! We'll bring it with us next time we go to Clinton). Anyway, before we went home I let Grace play on the mall playground for a little while.
While watching Grace play, I started a conversation with a mother sitting next to me. After we had talked for a while, it was about time for Grace and me to go. When Grace ran past me, I stopped her and told her that she had two more minutes to play. My new friend laughed and said, "Does that really work?" I told her that it had really been helping Grace change activities without fussing since I started doing it a few weeks ago. I give her a two-minute warning when we're getting ready to stop doing something she really enjoys like a playground, bathtime, before bedtime, etc. For kids, there's something about knowing what is coming and having time to prepare that helps them have a better attitude about a change.
After I talked positively about this technique, I started praying that Grace would be sweet and obedient when the two minutes were up. Thankfully, she was. When I told her the two minutes were up, she immediately came over and put on her shoes. She happily waved and exclaimed, "Bye-bye playground! I'll see you later!". My new friend was amazed and told me she was going to start the two-minute warning technique today.
I wish I could say that Grace was always this sweet and obedient when leaving a playground! I am thankful, however, that she usually obeys without fussing, especially when I give her a two-minute warning. This technique helped me greatly when I was a school teacher, and so far it's equally effective with Grace.
Of course, there are times when I can't (or forget to) give a two-minute warning....Grace is expected to obey swiftly and sweetly during those times, too. But, I have found that those two minutes of final play somehow help prepare her heart to obey me with a good attitude.
While watching Grace play, I started a conversation with a mother sitting next to me. After we had talked for a while, it was about time for Grace and me to go. When Grace ran past me, I stopped her and told her that she had two more minutes to play. My new friend laughed and said, "Does that really work?" I told her that it had really been helping Grace change activities without fussing since I started doing it a few weeks ago. I give her a two-minute warning when we're getting ready to stop doing something she really enjoys like a playground, bathtime, before bedtime, etc. For kids, there's something about knowing what is coming and having time to prepare that helps them have a better attitude about a change.
After I talked positively about this technique, I started praying that Grace would be sweet and obedient when the two minutes were up. Thankfully, she was. When I told her the two minutes were up, she immediately came over and put on her shoes. She happily waved and exclaimed, "Bye-bye playground! I'll see you later!". My new friend was amazed and told me she was going to start the two-minute warning technique today.
I wish I could say that Grace was always this sweet and obedient when leaving a playground! I am thankful, however, that she usually obeys without fussing, especially when I give her a two-minute warning. This technique helped me greatly when I was a school teacher, and so far it's equally effective with Grace.
Of course, there are times when I can't (or forget to) give a two-minute warning....Grace is expected to obey swiftly and sweetly during those times, too. But, I have found that those two minutes of final play somehow help prepare her heart to obey me with a good attitude.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Preschooler Quote of the Day
This morning, Caleb and Grace were playing hide-and-go-seek. The shrieks of delight kept getting louder and louder until I finally said:
Me: "Kids, you are both screaming too loudly. I need you to be quieter please."
Caleb: "But, Miss Jo Jo, we are just EXPRESSING ourselves!"
Grace: "Yes, Mama, we are "SPRESSING" ourselves!"
Me: "Kids, you are both screaming too loudly. I need you to be quieter please."
Caleb: "But, Miss Jo Jo, we are just EXPRESSING ourselves!"
Grace: "Yes, Mama, we are "SPRESSING" ourselves!"
Importance of Seasoning
Everything I learned about cooking I learned from my mom's kitchen and the Food Network. One of the most important lessons I have learned is the importance of seasoning every layer when cooking.
I have often given away recipes for chilis, soup, stews, and casseroles. More than once, a friend has come back and told me it was good, it just wasn't as good as when I made it. This isn't because I have some sort of magical powers or heavenly gift of cooking! I honestly believe it's because my friends weren't seasoning every layer when assembling the dishes.
I'll use the following recipe as an example....this is what I put in the crockpot for dinner tonight. Mom came up with this copycat recipe after eating the soup at Olive Garden. I revised it slightly to make it in the crock pot.
Pasta e Fagioli (a la Olive Garden)
2 tbsp. EVOO
1 to 1 ½ pound lean ground beef
1 large onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
28-oz. can diced tomatoes
1 can Kidney Beans, washed and drained
1 can Garbanzo Beans, washed and drained
1 can Pinto Beans, washed and drained
1 cup macaroni noodles, uncooked
4-6 c. beef broth
1/2 tsp dry basil
Salt
Black pepper
Grated Parmesan cheese (garnish)
Fresh basil (garnish)
Heat oil in large saucepan; add beef and saute’ until pink is almost gone; season. Add onion and garlic; season. Saute for a few more minutes until beef is cooked through and onions are tender; drain off excess oil. Empty all three cans of beans into colander; rinse and drain. Combine beef mixture, beans, tomatoes, uncooked macaroni, and beef broth into crock pot. Season with salt, pepper, and dried basil. Heat on LOW for 6-8 hours. Serve garnished with fresh basil and Parmesan cheese.
When I say "season", I mean salt and pepper. I suggest keeping a small bowl of kosher salt and a fresh pepper grinder in your kitchen by the stove. I don't measure things exactly....I use the Rachel Ray method. A good rule of thumb is once around the pot with a good-sized pinch of salt (about 1/2 t. for Type A personalities) and 5-8 grinds of the pepper mill.
Every time you add a new layer of ingredients, you add a new layer of seasoning. In this case, I would season the ground beef, season again after I add the onions/garlic, and season again after combining all ingredients in the crock pot. This method of seasoning allows each ingredient to fully develop it's flavor within the dish. I'm telling you....IT WORKS!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Fun on the Farm
Grace had a blast today at my friend's country home. They have a beautiful farm house on about 10 acres. She had fun playing on the bales of hay, petting the cats and dogs, and running in the grass. We even caught grasshoppers and fed them to the chickens. There were some other children there for Grace to play with, so after some initial hesitation, she became comfortable and ran around exploring with the other kids. That gave me time to fellowship with my old friend and a new friend. We compared birth stories, parenting stories, relived old memories, and enjoyed watching our kids play together.
What a blessing it is for women to fellowship with one another. One of the benefits of being a homemaker is having the time to go to a friend's house and just enjoy visiting. An added bonus was being sent home with some yummy homemade blueberry preserves and hot cocoa mix!
Today's Plans
Grace is beside herself because we are going to a dear friend's home for lunch today. This dear friend lives in the country and has CHICKENS! Chickens are currently the "animal of the moment." (I'm happy that her fascination with snakes is fading).
Hopefully I'll get some good pictures and be able to post a couple.
Hopefully I'll get some good pictures and be able to post a couple.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Butter Spray Rant
I have to post about something that has annoyed me for a long time....spray butter manufacturers. Don't get me wrong....I LOVE the product. I use it on my toast, baked potatoes, vegetables, and anything else I can think of. Where else can you get the taste of butter for 0 calories and 0 fat? What annoys me is the LENGTH OF THE SPRAY TUBING INSIDE THE BOTTLE.
This morning I prepared my toast as usual, then grabbed the spray butter out of the fridge. Despite the fact that there was a good 1/4 bottle worth of spray butter left, I couldn't get any to come out. I opened the bottle and realized that the plastic tubing is too short to reach to the bottom of the bottle! Because this has happened so many times before, I have come to believe that this practice is a deliberate attempt by spray butter manufacturers to get people to buy more spray butter faster. (Then again, "Conspiracy Theory" is one of my favorite movies.)
I'll admit that I usually toss my spray butter in the trash when it doesn't spray anymore. From now on, I'll buy a new bottle, but I'll use up about 1/4 of it, then add the leftover spray butter from my previous bottle. That way I'll never waste it again.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Update on my brother, Jon, in Iraq
My brother, Lt. Jonathan Malone, is currently serving an 8-month deployment with a Marine unit in Karmah, Iraq. (See previous post). As a physician, he is involved in caring for his Marine unit, as well as facilitating medical care for the Iraqi community. We are thankful that the Lord has protected him.
It is truly amazing to hear of the good things that our soldiers are doing in Iraq. While our media is consistent about reporting all the terrible things that happen, Americans rarely get a glimpse of all the good progress that is being made as we fight this war on terror.
I am providing links to two articles that describe the successes of Jonathan's unit in Karmah. (My brother is quoted in one of them.)
Article 1
Article 2
God Bless America!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Todd's First Week at Work
Todd has had an exciting first week of work. He's busted two kids with marajuana possession, caught a 13 and 14-yr-old couple having sex on the school bus, and responded to various reports of gang activity. He's gotten to know the police officer that is stationed on his campus pretty well, and learned all about the various juvenile laws and regulations related to the above-described crimes.
His favorite thing about this job is that every day is new and exciting. There's no routine and absolutely no time to be bored. It fits his personality to a tee! The saddest thing about his job is witnessing the immorality and criminal behavior that is so rampant in our adolescent society. And this is a GOOD district.
My friends, our school personnel are on the front lines of the battlefield. While there are potentially great rewards in the field of education, it is not an easy journey. Teachers are constantly disrespected by both students and parents, given unrealistic expectations to meet every child's need in the over-crowded classroom, and burdened with the emotional needs/issues of their students. And, all of this for miniscule pay.
I'm not sure what the answer is....other than a great revival in our land. I do know that Todd and I are ever-mindful of how we want to handle Grace's education in the future. We haven't made any final decisions yet, but the thought of putting her in a public classroom doesn't make us feel too confident. We don't want to bring her up in a "bubble", sheltering her from every possible exposure to sin. But, on the other hand, it is our RESPONSIBILITY to provide her a safe and nurturing environment. We've still got a couple of years to figure out what to do before she starts kindergarten. Until then, I'll enjoy teaching her at home and getting her ready for whatever the future holds.
His favorite thing about this job is that every day is new and exciting. There's no routine and absolutely no time to be bored. It fits his personality to a tee! The saddest thing about his job is witnessing the immorality and criminal behavior that is so rampant in our adolescent society. And this is a GOOD district.
My friends, our school personnel are on the front lines of the battlefield. While there are potentially great rewards in the field of education, it is not an easy journey. Teachers are constantly disrespected by both students and parents, given unrealistic expectations to meet every child's need in the over-crowded classroom, and burdened with the emotional needs/issues of their students. And, all of this for miniscule pay.
I'm not sure what the answer is....other than a great revival in our land. I do know that Todd and I are ever-mindful of how we want to handle Grace's education in the future. We haven't made any final decisions yet, but the thought of putting her in a public classroom doesn't make us feel too confident. We don't want to bring her up in a "bubble", sheltering her from every possible exposure to sin. But, on the other hand, it is our RESPONSIBILITY to provide her a safe and nurturing environment. We've still got a couple of years to figure out what to do before she starts kindergarten. Until then, I'll enjoy teaching her at home and getting her ready for whatever the future holds.
Go See Fireproof!
I have really been looking forward to seeing the movie "Fireproof." And, last night I was not disappointed. What a great movie! This movie is not going to win any Oscars (especially in the acting department). But, it's the best movie I have seen in a long time. It was fun to be on a double date with Todd and our sweet friends Larry and Joy. The theater had a nice-sized crowd....we saw a few people from our church. Hollywood puts out so much trash these days, that I really encourage you to do whatever you can to go see this movie in the theater. We must show our support for good, clean movies with an inspiring message.
The main theme was the relationship between the star character (Kirk Cameron) and his wife. The power of the gospel was clearly presented as the way to eternal life, as well as the way to preserve marriage. I have heard that many of the actors volunteered their time without pay to make this movie. I am so thankful that Kirk Cameron is using his gifts and talents as an actor to make movies that promote the gospel. (See previous post on Kirk Cameron). He is married with six children, and he is very faithful to honor his marriage vows when making movies. I read that he replaced the woman that played his wife in the movie with his real-life wife in the final scene when they kissed. (I hope this doesn't ruin the movie for anyone....you HAD to know they reconciled!)
Anyway, we had a great time, and thoroughly enjoyed our evening out.
The main theme was the relationship between the star character (Kirk Cameron) and his wife. The power of the gospel was clearly presented as the way to eternal life, as well as the way to preserve marriage. I have heard that many of the actors volunteered their time without pay to make this movie. I am so thankful that Kirk Cameron is using his gifts and talents as an actor to make movies that promote the gospel. (See previous post on Kirk Cameron). He is married with six children, and he is very faithful to honor his marriage vows when making movies. I read that he replaced the woman that played his wife in the movie with his real-life wife in the final scene when they kissed. (I hope this doesn't ruin the movie for anyone....you HAD to know they reconciled!)
Anyway, we had a great time, and thoroughly enjoyed our evening out.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Train in Righteousness Part II
I had some time to finish reading Ginger Plowman's "Don't Make Me Count To Three!" while Grace was playing on the McDonald's playground this afternoon. (See previous post). What a great book. It is full of practical, specific, biblical parenting advice. A couple of things I read today really struck me.
First, obedience should be all the way, right away, and with a joyful heart. In other words, our children should obey us completely the first time we ask with a good attitude. My problem is "right away." Ginger said that "delayed obedience is disobedience." I have been guilty of repeating my instructions to Grace several times and then accepting her "obedience" when she finally does what I ask. If you are a parent, does the following interaction sound familiar?
"Come here please."
[child ignores you and keeps playing]
"(Name), I said come here!"
[child looks at you, then goes back to playing]
"(Name), come here right now!"
[child looks as if she is ready to come, then decides she'd rather play]
"(First, middle, and last name), obey me now. I said to come here!"
[Child finally comes]
"Thank You!"
At times I have been SO guilty of this. Basically, I have been reinforcing her disobedience. Do I really want to have to tell her to come here four times before she runs in front of a car? Definitely not. I am going to start giving her an instruction clearly one time, and then disciplining her if she does not obey immediately. It'll probably take a lot of time at first, but hopefully she will get the message that it doesn't count as obedience unless she obeys me right away.
The other issue is "with a joyful heart." This is probably the hardest part for kids. Emotions to some degree are difficult to control. However, the way they express their emotions (their attitude) is a choice. Kids can choose to obey with a respectful attitude. As a school counselor, I can remember telling kids to "control your emotions....don't let your emotions control you." This doesn't mean that kids are to deny their emotions and keep them locked inside their hearts where they will fester and grow. As parents, we should be willing and able to listen to our kids calmly and respectfully explain their struggles. These times of communication are the perfect way to show our children their need for a Saviour and the forgiveness that comes through salvation.
Another thing that Ginger recommends is telling your child how many "swats" he/she will receive when spanked. This is a way to demonstrate that you are using self-control and not reacting out of anger. I have never thought of doing this, and I can see this as another way for me as a parent to "check" my emotions.
And, this leads me to what I believe is the most important thing to keep in mind when disciplining our children: OUR heart. Are we spanking out of anger for being embarrassed or inconvenienced? Are we administering discipline as an sinful emotional reaction or out of love for our child? I believe that this is the single, most important factor when parents claim that spanking doesn't "work." This is also a reason why spanking is not accepted by secular society.....they have never seen biblical discipline done calmly and with a loving attitude! I believe that when a parent loses self-control and disciplines out of anger it causes more harm than good to the child. It builds resentment and fear. It does not reflect the gracious mercy of our Lord. At times when I find myself responding in anger to Grace's behavior (and it does happen!), I try to remind myself of the grace that God showed by sending His son to die for me, a sinner. How thankful I am that He forgives when I sin against Him!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
That's MY Mommy!
This morning I was reading books to Grace and the 3-yr-old boy that I babysit (I'll call him Caleb). Anyway, Caleb climbed in my lap and settled down for a long story. Grace's defenses immediately went into overdrive as she exclaimed, "No! That's MY mommy!" She proceeded to climb in my lab and elbow Caleb out of the way.
Needless to say, she just isn't used to sharing me. I calmly told her that it was OK for Caleb to sit in my lap because he was our friend and Mama's lap can be shared. In her best drama queen fashion, she exclaimed, "But Mama, I'm YOUR DAUGHTER!!!" To which Caleb replied, "Yeah, but she's MY JOJO!!"
I thought back to my recent recommitment to "train in righteousness." I reminded them that God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Grace and Caleb are neighbors. They are to want what is best for each other. I told Grace that since she gets to sit in my lap all the time, she should be happy to see that Caleb enjoys that as much as she does. In the end, Grace let Caleb have the "prime lap position" while she sat next to me and held on to my arm for dear life.
Needless to say, she just isn't used to sharing me. I calmly told her that it was OK for Caleb to sit in my lap because he was our friend and Mama's lap can be shared. In her best drama queen fashion, she exclaimed, "But Mama, I'm YOUR DAUGHTER!!!" To which Caleb replied, "Yeah, but she's MY JOJO!!"
I thought back to my recent recommitment to "train in righteousness." I reminded them that God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Grace and Caleb are neighbors. They are to want what is best for each other. I told Grace that since she gets to sit in my lap all the time, she should be happy to see that Caleb enjoys that as much as she does. In the end, Grace let Caleb have the "prime lap position" while she sat next to me and held on to my arm for dear life.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Struggle with Infertility
I was deeply moved by a blog post I read today entitled "Living with PCOS: Guarding Our Hearts." Many of my readers know that I have struggled with the disease of PCOS, which has contributed greatly to my struggle with infertility. Consider the following quote from this blog page:
You see, fertility (or rather infertility) is a deeply emotional issue, and it sadly affects most women with PCOS to at least some degree. It touches right to the core of who we are as women, to the dreams we held as little girls, to our desire to have a large family or to have children close in age, as well as to our sense of self-worth, our contentment, our joy, and our trust in God.
All too often, those very legitimate hopes and dreams we hold in our hearts can be given too much free reign, and what starts out as a desire for something very good quickly turns into something ugly. We covet and envy. We resent others. We become angry. We withdraw. We cease trusting God and make a desperate attempt to control those things that we cannot control. We grow disillusioned. We give up hope. We judge others, and ultimately, we charge God with the unfairness of it all.
You might be wondering how the deep desire to have children could be a sin? Didn't God command us to multiply and fill the earth? Is it sinful to desire children more than anything else? Frankly, yes. Satan can grab hold of these deep desires and turn them into idols. I spent many years of my life thinking of almost nothing else than the desire to get pregnant and have a baby. It ruled my emotions, it dominated my prayers, it ruled my thoughts. It was the first thing I thought of in the morning when I took my BBT, and it was the last thing I thought of at night. For years. You see, I was not completely trusting God and giving up my CONTROL to Him and His perfect plan. I was letting this deep desire become an idol in my life. I was seeking joy in the form of a baby rather than the exceeding joy that comes from knowing the Lord.
My grief and discontent was magnified during the times that I became pregnant and miscarried. In my head, I told myself to trust God. My sweet family and friends were such an encouragement to me during these times. However, my heart was another matter. I was dealing with anger and resentment. Why did God allow my 12-yr-old counseling client to get pregnant and not me? Was I being punished? It became difficult for me to go to baby showers and volunteer for the nursery at my church.
God gives women the natural desire to bear children. This is not sinful. It becomes sin when we do not kneel before the cross, casting our burdens upon Him who has done so much for us, trusting in His perfect goodness and love.
I'm not saying that women that struggle with infertility should not investigate and try every possible medical intervention to become pregnant. We certainly did. However, I want to encourage you to guard your heart. Come to the cross and keep your priorities in order.
Despite my sin, God chose to give us the precious gift of our daughter, Grace Elizabeth. We are exceedingly thankful for His gift, and have taken the responsibility seriously to raise her in the Lord. For me, it took a hysterectomy to make me realize what an idol my infertility had become. Today we have a sense of peace about the way things have turned out. If I could have written my own destiny, we would have a happy house full of children. How thankful I am that I have a much bigger and wiser God to trust for my destiny. I wouldn't have it any other way.
You see, fertility (or rather infertility) is a deeply emotional issue, and it sadly affects most women with PCOS to at least some degree. It touches right to the core of who we are as women, to the dreams we held as little girls, to our desire to have a large family or to have children close in age, as well as to our sense of self-worth, our contentment, our joy, and our trust in God.
All too often, those very legitimate hopes and dreams we hold in our hearts can be given too much free reign, and what starts out as a desire for something very good quickly turns into something ugly. We covet and envy. We resent others. We become angry. We withdraw. We cease trusting God and make a desperate attempt to control those things that we cannot control. We grow disillusioned. We give up hope. We judge others, and ultimately, we charge God with the unfairness of it all.
You might be wondering how the deep desire to have children could be a sin? Didn't God command us to multiply and fill the earth? Is it sinful to desire children more than anything else? Frankly, yes. Satan can grab hold of these deep desires and turn them into idols. I spent many years of my life thinking of almost nothing else than the desire to get pregnant and have a baby. It ruled my emotions, it dominated my prayers, it ruled my thoughts. It was the first thing I thought of in the morning when I took my BBT, and it was the last thing I thought of at night. For years. You see, I was not completely trusting God and giving up my CONTROL to Him and His perfect plan. I was letting this deep desire become an idol in my life. I was seeking joy in the form of a baby rather than the exceeding joy that comes from knowing the Lord.
My grief and discontent was magnified during the times that I became pregnant and miscarried. In my head, I told myself to trust God. My sweet family and friends were such an encouragement to me during these times. However, my heart was another matter. I was dealing with anger and resentment. Why did God allow my 12-yr-old counseling client to get pregnant and not me? Was I being punished? It became difficult for me to go to baby showers and volunteer for the nursery at my church.
God gives women the natural desire to bear children. This is not sinful. It becomes sin when we do not kneel before the cross, casting our burdens upon Him who has done so much for us, trusting in His perfect goodness and love.
I'm not saying that women that struggle with infertility should not investigate and try every possible medical intervention to become pregnant. We certainly did. However, I want to encourage you to guard your heart. Come to the cross and keep your priorities in order.
Despite my sin, God chose to give us the precious gift of our daughter, Grace Elizabeth. We are exceedingly thankful for His gift, and have taken the responsibility seriously to raise her in the Lord. For me, it took a hysterectomy to make me realize what an idol my infertility had become. Today we have a sense of peace about the way things have turned out. If I could have written my own destiny, we would have a happy house full of children. How thankful I am that I have a much bigger and wiser God to trust for my destiny. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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