Healing

Todd and Dad took Grace to church this morning while Mom stayed home with me. I was able to take a shower and sit up for a while. Lunch was delicious....roast beef, brown rice, green beans with almonds, fruit salad, and Blue Bell ice cream for dessert. Whoa.

Grace just went down for a nap, so I climbed into my bed to take a short nap, too. I was in a lot of pain last night, so I didn't sleep very well. My night included lots of infomercials and watching the clock to see when I could take another pain pill. I know everything I ever wanted to know about the Rug Doctor and the Magic Bullet!

I am thankful that the worst seems to be behind me and I am feeling better as the day goes on. This has been a little harder than I expected, but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end. I appreciate everyone who is thinking and praying for me!

Home Again

Well, I'm already at home again after my surgery. What a whirlwind! I hardly remember anything that happened to me, and apparently that's a good thing. Todd told me some things I said and did while recovering from the anesthesia, so I would say that my lapse in memory is really a blessing.

In this day and age, they certainly know how to get you out of the hospital fast. I had barely swallowed my breakfast this morning when the nurse showed up with a wheelchair. Less than 48 hours after major abdominal surgery, I was on my way home!

It sure was nice to get home, though, and see my sweet little girl. We've had a hard time keeping her away from my incision. She wants to climb in my lap and snuggle, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.

My sweet friend Joy is bringing dinner tonight, so we are just going to relax and enjoy being together today. All of us have been napping off and on. The best part about today?? COLLEGE FOOTBALL!

Surgery Day

Well, today is my surgery day. After a restless night, I finally just got up and read most of last night. I read some Psalms and Proverbs, prayed for a while, then started my new thriller, The Bourne Identity. I loved the movies, so I thought I would give the books a try, and so far I have not been disappointed. It's amazing how much more interesting detail there is in a book than a movie!

Grace is in a happy mood today because Mimi and Granddaddy are here to dote on her! As soon as she woke up this morning she jumped out of bed and asked, "Where's Mimi? Where's Granddaddy? I want to play with them!" When Grace is happy, it's almost impossible for anyone around her to be unhappy. What a blessing she is.

I'll be out of touch for a few days, but I hope to come home and be online again by Monday. I can't make any promises about the state of mind I'll be in considering the amount of drugs I'll be taking and the hormone fluctuations. If nothing else, the next few posts might be entertaining! I appreciate all of you who have been keeping me in your prayers.

The Last Supper

I have to stop eating and drinking at midnight tonight in preparation for my surgery tomorrow. So, I decided to make the best of it. My parents came into town today, and mom and I cooked a delicious meal of salad, spaghetti w/ meat sauce, and garlic bread. This is my absolute favorite meal. I think I could eat it every day and not get tired of it.....actually, I don't ever get tired of any Italian food. When I was pregnant with Grace, I craved tomato sauce. I can remember cooking noodles and adding marinara sauce late at night, and it was so satisfying!

Anyway, my procedure is at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon, and the hardest part is not drinking before then. (No, I'm not talking about alcohol.) I can't even have a sip of water after midnight tonight.

I can already feel my mouth getting cottony in anticipation.

Health

I wasn't planning on writing about this subject because I generally don't like to talk about personal issues, but this is such a big part of my life right now that I think it warrants a post.

I am having a hysterectomy this week. We have come to this decision after much research, consultation, and prayer. This decision was not made lightly, because we are very disappointed about closing the door on future biological children. What gives us comfort is to know that God is in control of even this, and He has blessed us so much by giving us the joy of having our daughter Grace. Perhaps down the road He will enable us to give a home to another child that we can adopt.

I'm not really nervous about the procedure because I have a wonderful doctor that I completely trust. Thankfully, my parents will be here to help us care for Grace during my time of recovery. There are so many family members and friends praying for us right now that we truly do feel a peace about the whole situation.

So why did I start crying when I registered at the hospital this morning? I think the finality of it all became very real when I signed the permission form for surgery. I feel like I am mourning a loss....though not tangible....it's the loss of the possibility of bearing another child. The nurse was very kind and told me it was normal to be emotional about this surgery, especially at my age.

Despite my sadness, I am looking forward to the improvement in health that this will bring. The bible teaches that all things work together for our good, and I am trusting in this promise. And, I am thankful for the wonderful support system of family, friends, and church members that have been such an encouragement to me.

Quote of the Day

"A working taxpayer voting for Obama is like a chicken voting for The Colonel."
~Ian Weber, friend on Facebook

Concept of Time

It is very humorous to observe a child's concept of time. I've learned through experience to not tell Grace about something new or exciting until the time is near at hand. Preschoolers just don't understand "next month" or "next week" or sometimes even "tomorrow."

I've known for a while now that my parents are coming to visit us this week, but I have held off on telling Grace. While I was getting the guest room ready this morning, I explained to Grace that they would be here on Wednesday, in two days. She immediately began running through the house calling, "Mimi, are you here yet? Granddaddy, where are you?" After naptime this afternoon, she jumped out of bed and ran to the guest room to see if they were here. I've had to answer countless questions of "Where's Mimi? Where's Granddaddy?" I finally told her that she could not ask me again!

Maybe I should have just let it be a surprise!

Shirtdress

My good friend Mrs. Sprinkles posted a link to a website that explained how to make a toddler dress from a man's shirt. Click here to see the instructions. This afternoon after church, while Grace was taking a nap, I took one of Todd's old dress shirts and started sewing. Since Grace was asleep, I didn't get good measurements, and I ended up making the dress too small. So, I had to improvise and I came up with a slightly different result.

The cool thing is I didn't have to buy anything to make this dress. I already had ribbons and trim to match Todd's shirt!

To Spit or Not To Spit

I realized something the other day when I took Grace to the dentist. I have never taught her to spit! When the dental assistant brushed her teeth and told Grace to spit out the toothpaste, she just looked at her and swallowed. I mumbled something like, "We haven't worked on spitting yet...."

Grace has been perfectly happy to swallow her Barbie toothpaste, and the label says it is safe to swallow. So, I haven't even thought about practicing spitting. Well, now I have something new to work on.

The past couple of nights I've demonstrated spitting and tried to get her to do it....to no avail. You would think that a 3-yr-old would relish the idea of spitting on purpose, but not Grace.

I guess the Barbie toothpaste is just too tasty.

Update

I forgot to mention this in my last post, but Grace is back to her normal self today. No fever, and definitely no lethargy! She has enough energy today to more than make up for yesterday. I guess it was just a little 24 hour bug.

Also, I need to brag on my husband for a minute. His brakes started going out on his SUV recently. We were quoted over $300 just to replace the back brakes at our local dealership. With the help of a friend who enjoys working on cars, Todd replaced his brakes (both front AND back) for a grand total of just under $40. He was very proud of himself and enjoyed sitting around in his grease-stained clothes and face/hands/arms/legs before reluctantly taking a shower.

I'll have to admit he looked pretty cute.

Home Improvement

The other day while Todd was taking a shower in our master bathroom, a piece of large tile fell off the shower wall and crashed to the floor. Upon inspection, we realized that behind the tile was an empty space with rotting insulation. While neither one of us is a handyman, we at least knew that something was definitely missing. Shouldn't shower tile be applied to some type of water-resistant board?

During Todd's lunch break today (between a morning parade and an evening band march-a-thon) we had a family outing to Lowe's Home Improvement Store. The fix-it guy (or in this case woman) chuckled when we told her the story, then informed us that we had been duped by shoddy contractors when our house was built in 2001. She said that since the early 60's, all shower tiles have been applied to water-proof boards. Anything less is unacceptable. How did this pass inspection????

UUUGGHHHH!

So......we have to remove all tiles and the shower door/glass. Unless we want to pay for new tile, we have to carefully clean and sand the old grout off our tiles to make a smooth surface. We have to purchase and cut to fit waterproof boarding. Then we have to re-tile, re-grout, and re-install the shower door/glass.

You know, we don't mind the normal home improvement projects that come with home ownership. But, it is very annoying to pour time and money into a problem that is a direct result of lazy and greedy contractors.

Moral of this story: When shopping for home builders, cheaper is not always better. We went for a less expensive builder that had a pretty good reputation in our area. Oh well, there is a reason they were cheaper.

Lazy Day

Grace didn't sleep well last night, and she has been lathargic today. Due to a slight fever, I believe that she has caught a little bug. I knew something was wrong when I offered to take her to the park this morning and she didn't even want to get off the couch! So, we've just had a quiet and lazy day.....books, movies, and chicken soup for lunch. She is now napping and I'm taking a break from copying recipes from the latest issue of Southern Living.

Although I am concerned that Grace is sick, I'll admit that I enjoy slow days like today. It is fun to cozy up with her under a blanket on the couch and discuss all the troubles that Cinderella is having now that the evil stepmother has stolen the magic wand (Cinderella III: A Twist in Time).

I'm not ashamed to take advantage of her willingness to sit in my lap longer than 30 seconds!

Rough Day

Well, today went downhill after the dentist appointment. Grace tried to test the limits and boundries all day. It seemed like every little thing I have ever told her "no" about she decided to try again just to see what would happen. Her list of offenses included: throwing food on the ground at mealtime, fussing constantly about every little thing that didn't go her way, stealing toys from her friends during our playdate, not obeying when I asked her to do something, and the biggie: unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of her carseat while we were driving. (This warranted an immediate pull-over and spanking).

I felt like a broken record all day long. I would correct her verbally and if she didn't obey, I disciplined her. Our discipline procedure includes reviewing the commandment she broke, spanking, asking forgiveness of the person she hurt/disobeyed, praying, and hugging. Then we do our best to start over on a clean slate.

I guess we shouldn't be surprised when our children disobey. After all, human nature is sinful, and it is "natural" for children to do what they want, when they want. Usually this is done without thought of consequences. Todd and I feel that it is our job as parents is to teach Grace the ways of the Lord and discipline her when she disobeys. This should be done not out of anger towards our child, but out of a deep love that longs for her to see the mercy and grace of our Lord through us when we discipline her. We feel that our discipline should be immediate, concise, loving, and forgiving. We are constantly praying that God will help us to do this without anger and emotions getting in the way.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and completely contradict my training as a professional counselor. We choose not to use the "time out" system when we discipline Grace. I have used the time-out system countless times as a teacher and a counselor in the school system, and this is what I have found:

1. Putting a child in time-out creates another opportunity for the child to misbehave while in time-out, complicating the original issue that put them in time-out. (i.e. refusing to go to the designated time-out area, screaming, yelling, cursing, physically damaging self or property).
2. The child's anger often increases during the time-out period. Contrary to what you tell them, they do not "think about what they have done." Usually, they think about how mad they are to be caught and how they are going to get away with it next time.
3. It takes too long. By the time you factor in the power struggle and the extra misbehaviors that crop up during time-out, the whole process wastes time that could have been spent in non-discipline-related activities.
4. It is taught that in a time-out period, there should be no communication between the adult and child. However, immediately after a misbehavior is the most critical time for the adult to communicate and teach the child in love. I am reminded of the Psalm of David which says, "Cast me not away from Thy presence. Keep not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation, and renew a right spirit within me."

I am thankful that tough days like today don't happen very often. I am thankful that, overall, we see the fruits of our discipline and teaching in Grace. I pray that God will grant me patience and a spirit that is slow to anger (contrary to my nature!) when I am dealing with her misbehavior.

Dentist Appointment

Grace had a dentist appointment today. She was very excited this morning because she remembered how fun it was the last time she had an appointment. Much to my relief, she was very cooperative with the dentist and assistant while they took x-rays, cleaned, and counted her teeth. She had no cavities and no plaque! However, the dentist told us to start saving now for braces because of her severe overbite. (Interestingly, the dentist told me it was a genetic overbite, not aggravated by her occasional thumb-sucking). The only behavioral problem we encountered was when it was time to go.....she said, "No, mama. I want to stay here!" She protested when I made her get out of the dentist chair, but was consoled when she got to pick out a prize.

Interesting sidenote: When offered a choice in new toothbrush, she picked "Tigger and Pooh" instead of "Disney Princess." When offered a choice in toothpaste, she picked "Cars" instead of "Ariel." When playing with the toys, she played with Thomas the Train instead of the baby dolls. When given various options for the type of balloon she wanted (including a flower, cat, princess crown, etc.), she specifically asked for a "snake" balloon.

My little princess.

Homemaking

Recently, I met an old friend that I used to work with when I was a teacher. I knew that his wife had recently had a baby, and I asked how things were going. He told me everything was great and proudly showed me the latest baby pictures. I asked, "So, is she going back to work soon?" He replied, "Of course! She's not one to sit around all day on her a@*!" He went on to ask me what I was doing now, and he was a bit embarrassed when I told him I was a stay-at-home mom.

I am so thankful to be a full-time mom. I am thankful that I have a husband who supports my desire to be home with my daughter. After working full time and taking my daughter to a babysitter every day, I now treasure every moment I have with her. I love that I am the one teaching her, playing with her, and molding her character. In two short years, she will start kindergarten. Until then, I want to cherish my time as a homemaker and mother.

I can honestly say that there are some things I miss about being a school counselor. I miss knowing that I was making a difference in the lives of struggling children. I miss my friends at work. I miss the mental challenges of my job. I even miss the crisis that would make each day unique and exciting.

What I don't miss about the time I was employed is having a disorganized household, spending more money on "conveniences", eating take-out, stressing about the circumstances of children in my school, being tired all the time, and letting my babysitter spend more quality time with Grace than myself.

There are women out there who have done it all and done it well, but I'm just not one of those women. I love that I can now spend our money more wisely. I can spend more time in reading and personal devotions. I can prepare each meal with healthy ingredients. I can focus more on my husband and his needs. I can do fun things with Grace without being exhausted. Basically, I can put my faith and family first.

The day will probably come when I go back to work, but until then, the satisfaction I get by focusing on my roles as wife and mother are much more valuable to me than an extra paycheck.