Welcome to the first week of our book study through Ginger Plowman’s Don’t Make Me Count To Three! I hope everyone had the opportunity to get the book and read through Chapter 1. If you didn’t, no worries! Just join along with us anytime. It’s a quick read and easy to get caught up.
Right off the bat, Ginger throws a small dart and pricks my heart on p. 13.
“Could it be that parents avoid these [discipline] issues because they are uncertain of how to handle them?”
Bingo. I thought of all the times I have purposefully ignored Grace when she was misbehaving, just hoping that she would straighten up on her own. Or gave her too many warnings. Or threatened a spanking. Guess what? It doesn’t work. I need to have a game plan. I need to change my way of thinking.
Not only that, but I need to think beyond Grace’s outward behavior and focus more on her heart. In today’s world, when one thinks of the word discipline, one might equate it with spanking, or punishment, or something quite negative. Actually, the roots of the word discipline come from the Latin word discipulus (“pupil”) and discere (“to learn”). The process of assigning some sort of punishment or consequence is only one part of discipline. When we focus on the whole process of discipline including biblical teaching, Lord willing we will reach the heart of our child to promote lasting change and set the foundation for their future salvation.
I love that Chapter 1 focuses on the high calling of motherhood. As a former career woman, I admit that at times I have questioned the importance of my place at home with Grace. I think of all the children I taught and mentored and helped over the years, and I wonder if my life would be of better service in the “mission field” of our public schools.
Then I think of Psalm 129:3 which says:
”Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”
And the command in Proverbs 22:6 which says:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
And the promise in Proverbs 31:27-28 which says:
“She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
And I realize that, yes, working with children in the public schools was a great use of my time. But working with Grace in my home is a greater use of my time.
And, in closing, I also love that Ginger warns us to not let the ugly head of pride enter as we start to enjoy the fruits of biblical discipline in our children. Just yesterday, I was humbled once again as we waited (forever!) for a table in Todd’s favorite restaurant to celebrate his birthday lunch with some friends from church. Grace was fussy and complaining and impatient as we passed time in a crowded waiting area. After taking her out for discipline a couple of times, she was better, but she certainly didn’t win any awards for behavior yesterday. And I had to check my attitude several times when I found myself getting frustrated! Thankfully, God answered my prayer and she settled down and let us eat in peace once we were seated.
That said, there is no “magical” or “biblical” formula for getting children to obey all the time. Enter sin. There has been only one person on this earth who has never sinned. Our Lord Jesus Christ. (Can you imagine what it must have been like to be his mother, Mary?). Children sin. It is a result of the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden. We need to expect our children to sin. We need to not be surprised when they sin. And we need to learn how God would have us deal with their sin in our growth as parents. Funny thing, at the same time we end up dealing with our own sin!
I hope that many of you will join in and comment on what particularly struck you in this week’s reading. Even if you didn’t read, feel free to comment below on the topics raised. Perhaps consider one or more of the following questions:
What do you hope to gain from this parenting study? How do you feel about the calling of motherhood? Why is it important to focus on the “heart” of discipline rather than just outward behavior? How can we keep pride from entering when things start to get better?
I look forward to reading your comments! Next Monday stay tuned for a post on Chapter 2!