Reflections on a Year of Homeschool

What a blessing this year has been!  I look back and I’m so thankful that God led us to the decision to homeschool Grace for kindergarten. 

This time last year, we were agonizing over what direction we wanted to take for her education.  Public school, private school, charter school, or homeschool?  We finally narrowed it down to two…charter school or homeschool.  The charter school fills up very quickly and in order for Grace to get in, her lottery number had to be drawn.  God’s hand was evident in the circumstance that she was drawn very late.  No chance to get in.

The fact that she didn’t get in the charter school gave me confidence that God wanted us to homeschool.  Homeschooling is where my heart was, and I’m so glad that her lottery number was not drawn because then I would have been really confused! 

I bought my curriculum and set up our little schoolroom.  From the very beginning, Grace has loved it.  I was worried at first because the curriculum was challenging and there were times of frustration…especially during the phonics lessons.  But we kept going, full steam ahead, and God has rewarded our efforts!  She is reading independently and soaking new books up like a sponge.  What a joy it is to see her take delight in written word!  It is truly magical when the light comes on and a child begins to read.  I am so honored to be the one to see it happen!

We also love the extra time that homeschooling has given me to teach Bible lessons, catechism, cooking, household duties, and just enjoy being together!  We have the freedom to visit the zoo, children’s museum, community events, and parks during non-peak hours.  Grace can watch me manage our household, learning how to plan and shop for the things we need.  She helps me clip coupons and is learning how to save money.  Much of this would not have been possible if she were in school 8-3 every day!

And we have loved being a part of the Travis Academy of Fine Arts (TAFA).  What an amazing program this is for homeschool students!  I have met some very wise and dedicated home educators that have been inspirational and encouraging to me this year.  Grace has loved making new friends and learning ballet!  We already have her registered for ballet, art, and drama next year.

I wouldn’t change our decision to homeschool for anything.  It feels so good to see how God has blessed our efforts.  He leads us through the times of frustration…when I thought she’d never learn the difference between a short vowel and a long vowel…to days where she begs to have school, even on weekends! 

I can’t wait to see what adventures are awaiting us in 1st grade!

The Joys of Homeschooling

Words cannot express how thankful I am to be a homeschool mom.  I realize that we are still in somewhat of the honeymoon stage…we’ve only been going for three weeks.  But, for Grace, there is NO doubt in our minds that we have made the right decision to keep her home with me.

Every morning she wakes up and eagerly asks what we will learn today.  She loves all the attention she is getting during our mornings together. 

Granted, there have been times of stress.  Even tears.  But I use it as a learning opportunity for her.  And me.  When she gets frustrated because she can’t do or understand something, I don’t let her give up.  We just try a different approach and she eventually learns that she CAN learn.  And she learns perseverance.  Then we take a break and do crafts.  Ha!

For Grace, this is a challenging curriculum.  I’m having to read and research different ways to teach some of the phonetic activities.  But, despite the fact that she struggles at times, she really wants to learn and is so excited when things start to connect in her brain. 

Today was so sweet.  When we finished our daily lessons, I went in the kitchen to make lunch.  I heard her in the school room pretending to teach a phonics lesson to another student.  She went through the whole lesson and all the activities we did today, pretending to be the teacher.  She even gave her imaginary student stickers and lots of verbal encouragement, “Great job, sweetie!”, etc.  My heart just melted and I knew today that we made the right decision for her.

I can only pray that she will continue to grow spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually.  Being her teacher is a great responsibility that I take very seriously.  It’s also a great joy!  All those months of agonizing over our decision of the direction we wanted to go with her education have been put to rest. 

First Day of Kindergarten

Grace’s much-anticipated first day of kindergarten finally arrived!  We have been literally counting down the days, marking them off our wall calendar.  I really had NO idea what to expect the first day, but it was great!  When we wrapped things up before lunch, she grabbed my arm and said, “Mommy, can we do this every day?  Please?”  Mission accomplished.

I know it won’t be sunshine and roses all the time.  There will be challenges.  We had a small one today.  But, I can already tell homeschool is going to be a wonderful experience for us both.  I am so thankful to be ABLE to do this.  I am so thankful for a husband who WANTS me to do this.  I am so thankful for a daughter who BEGS me to do this.  I am so thankful.

Many of you have asked what our typical day looks like.  We’ve only just started, and I’m sure it will evolve as we work out the kinks, but I’ll share what has worked for us so far.

I get up at 7:00 and exercise for about 45 minutes.  Grace usually wakes up between 7:30-8:00.  We eat breakfast and get dressed/ready for the day.  Grace meets me in the schoolroom to start at 9:00.  I like to start with Bible time.  We work through a simple devotional together.  Next I like to practice memory work with catechism and  Bible verses.  We finish with a short prayer time, asking God to bless our learning.

Next we have our calendar time where we learn the current day, date, year, etc.  We check the weather and record the forecast.  We post our letter, number, shape, and color of the day.  We keep track of how many days we have been in school, learning place value.  Calendar time takes about 10 minutes.

Next we move to phonics.  The curriculum I’m using has daily lessons with corresponding activities and worksheets.  We’ve been spending about 45 minutes on these lessons.  It’s a lot of oral practice and auditory learning.  I save the writing component for later.

Next we change gears and do math activities.  The curriculum is very hands-on, using manipulatives and games.  This is a great way to break up the more stressful phonics/language arts activities.  Math is Grace’s favorite part of the day!

Now that she’s had a break with math, we go back to writing.  We use dry erase boards and worksheets to practice the letters we have learned. 

Since writing can sometimes be frustrating for her, I like to move into a fun craft activity next.  I try to mix it up and use different materials every day. 

We end our school day by reading books together for a while.  Sometimes we might play an educational game.

All together, our kindergarten day takes 2 1/2 - 3 hours.  We finish before lunch! 

I love that we have our afternoons free to do other things.  Yesterday we attended orientation for her new ballet class, which begins next week.  Today we went to the science museum and played for a couple of hours.

I’m very happy with our schedule and I’m excited to see what this year has in store for both of us!

Getting Ready for School

Today was a special 20% off all educational supplies at my local Mardel store.  I decided to get there when they opened, but was naively surprised to see a full parking lot.  It was wall-to-wall people, no shopping carts, and for one panicked moment I relived my most recent Black Friday experience.

And let me just say that Kindergarten teachers are piranhas.  They look all sweet and innocent, but heaven help if you’re going for the same morning meeting book as them.  Or magnetic letters.  Trust me.

Anyway, miraculously, I managed to get everything I needed with the exception of a Saxon K-3 math manipulative kit.  (I’m keeping an eye on EBay and Craigslist for that.)  I set a budget between $200-$250 for my curriculum and I got out of the store with extra things not on my list for only $186.00! 

Grace was so excited to see everything I bought, and she wants to start Kindergarten NOW.  We’re going to wait to start the curriculum, however, until August.  I need more time to plan and get things ready!

Today, I bought our language arts curriculum.  We decided to use Alpha Omega Horizons.  I originally wanted to use Sonlight, but we just couldn’t justify the cost.  I’m going to supplement what I bought with some Hooked on Phonics and Scott Foresman materials I already own.  For math, we are using Saxon.    My sweet friend Julie Williams is letting me borrow her Kindergarten curriculum for this year!  I just need to find the required manipulatives.

For science, we will make frequent visits to the science museum, planetarium, and zoo.  We will check out science books from the library and learn about the human body.  For history, we will learn about different states in our nation and explore basic geography with our interactive globe and puzzles.  We will check out books from the library that describe other cultures and lands.  

We have signed Grace up for a weekly class with the Travis Academy of Fine Arts.  She will be so excited to begin ballet again!  Once she turns six years old, she will be eligible for other classes like drama, art, music, and bible study.  If there is room, we would love her to begin a couple of extra classes in the spring. 

We will start our school days with devotions and catechisms.  I have not been as faithful in teaching her the Westminster Catechism as I should have been, and I’m looking forward to getting into a routine of adding it back to our bible time in the mornings.  We will probably focus on one question per week. 

Even though this seems like a lot, I don’t expect our school days to take more than 2-3 hours total.  I hope to be done before lunchtime.  We are able to eliminate classroom hassles (i.e. bathroom breaks, learning rules and procedures, discipline issues, P.E., walking up and down the hallways, lunchtime, recess, and crowd control) to have a shorter day!  This leaves the afternoons free for field trips, shopping, library, playgrounds, and learning household skills. 

I spent the better part of today setting up our little classroom in our dining room.  I still have some things to laminate and hang up, but I’ll take pictures when I’m finished.  Grace watched in awe and wanted to play with everything I bought.  But, I told her it was only for kindergarten with mommy…gotta give her something to anticipate!

Kindergarten Decision

Todd and I have been spending time over the last few months researching and praying about different directions we could go with kindergarten next year for our Grace.  You can read about our options and thoughts in my previous posts, Kindergarten Contemplations Part I and Part II. 

I’m so thankful that I wrote about it on my blog, because I received  lots of great feedback and access to resources as a result!  I appreciate that tremendously!

And the decision is….drumroll….I WILL HOMESCHOOL!

There, I said it.  It’s official.  Whew.  I’m glad to have a decision, and I’m still trying to wrap my brain around what it means for our little family.

Just of a few of the many emotions/adjectives that are running rampant through my brain are:

excited, scared, crazy, relieved, curious, happy, confident, hesitant

Anyone that has faced the possibility of homeschool has probably felt many of the same things.  The first two emotions are the most pronounced at the moment.

I’m excited because:

• I get to spend time with my little girl instead of sending her off to school every day!
• I truly believe that Grace will enjoy it.  She loves to do school at home and always asks me to do it more often. 
• It’s a new challenge.  And I love new challenges.
• I can tailor my program to exactly what she needs considering her learning style, abilities, interests, etc.
• There is a whole new world of homeschool families and resources that we will meet and grow to love.
• Grace will be a part of the Travis Academy of Fine Arts.
• I feel that God will bless our efforts to educate our daughter at home.

I’m scared because:

• I want to do a good job, but I don’t always feel confident.
• What if I forget to teach her something?
• The responsibility of homeschool lessens opportunities for earning money through sewing, cake decorating, etc. and increases expenses for curriculum, TAFA, organized sports, membership expenses, etc.
• I’m a procrastinator by nature, and I just CAN’T be that way and be an effective home educator.

All things considered, the promise I am holding close to my heart through this decision comes from Proverbs 22:6:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Our prayer is that we are making a decision that will bless our daughter, our family, and give honor to our Lord.  I also take comfort in the fact that the decision to homeschool for kindergarten next year does not mean we are stuck on that path for the next 13 years.  Thankfully, public school and other charter schools are options that we feel comfortable considering if homeschool does not work out for whatever reason.

I haven’t made any solid decisions yet about curriculum, but I’m leaning toward Saxon for math.  When I worked at the elementary school level, I remember our math teachers complementing Saxon very highly.  It is very systematic, building concepts and reinforcing learning along the way.  There are lots of hands-on activities with manipulatives and practice.  I also like that there are frequent assessments to measure learning.

For language arts/reading, I’m looking at Sonlight, Saxon, Lifepac, and Horizons.  I’ve still got a lot of research to do on this.

I’ll probably use supplements from my local Mardel homeschool supply store for resources relating to science, history, and geography. 

Now that we’ve made the decision to homeschool, I’d appreciate any recommendations on curriculum from any homeschool moms out there!  Positive recommendations or concerns through your experience…

Thanks for the continued prayers as I prepare for this exciting new journey!

Kindergarten Contemplations

It’s hard to believe that I’m even writing this post because I am having difficulty with the fact that my baby will soon be old enough for school.  It really doesn’t seem like five years since Todd and I held her in our arms and thanked God for her miraculous birth!  And I’ve heard it only gets faster…

We have some big decisions coming up in the next couple of months about Grace’s education.  There are so many things to consider.  Of course, each option has both pros and cons, and we are prayerfully seeking the best choice for us.

Side note:  This post is not meant to criticize any school or program.  A parent’s right to determine the best education for their child(ren) is a highly personal and subjective matter.  There is no right answer for everyone!

Todd and I have not made a final decision yet, but here are the options that are available and my thoughts on the matter:

1.  LOCAL PUBLIC SCHOOL

PROS:  I am a former employee of the current district in which we reside.  I know a lot of people and I have a high level of confidence in the kindergarten program in our neighborhood school.  This is obviously the easiest option for us to choose because it is FREE and CONVENIENT (a short walking distance from our home).  It would be quite easy for me to become involved in the school.  A few of Grace’s friends from church will be beginning this school in the fall, so she will see some familiar faces.  It would also be nice to be a part of the local community in which we live.

CONS:  The class size is large (up to 21) and Grace has a tendency to get lost in the crowd.  She is rather quiet and reserved (until you get to know her), and she doesn’t bring a lot of attention to herself.  I’m afraid that she might not get as much academic attention as she would in another option.  Also, I’ve been in a lot of kindergarten classes and I’ve seen a lot of shocking things.  Regardless of how excellent the teacher is, in a public classroom, Grace will be exposed to things I would rather her not see.  I have no desire for her to grow up in a bubble, completely shut off from reality, but Todd and I have a responsibility to protect her as best we can.

2.  LOCAL CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

PROS:  Smaller class sizes and an emphasis on spiritual growth are the biggest advantages to this option.  The academic rigor is also well-known.  Many of our church friends attend and/or work in this school.  The location is convenient (about 2-3 miles), and the area is very safe.  Most of the families/employees in this school share similar values and I know it would be a great place for us to get involved and make new friends.

CONS:  The main problem is cost.  Private school is quite expensive, and in order for Grace to attend this school, I would need to go back to work.  This is something that we are considering, but it is not ideal.  When I resigned from public education three years ago to become a full-time homemaker, we realized that it was exactly what our family needed.  That topic warrants an entire post, but everyone is happier since I stepped out of the workforce.

3.  LOCAL FINE ARTS CHARTER SCHOOL

PROS:  This is a relatively new charter school with an excellent reputation.  The kindergarten class size is only 12, and there is an emphasis on fine arts:  ballet, music, and art.  This is right up Grace’s alley.  Instead of one ballet class per week, she would receive classical ballet four days per week.  The academic rigor is respectable as evidenced by high testing scores.  The convenience is good (about 5 miles away) in a safe area.  I have friends who have put their children in this school and are very happy.  I am looking forward to a tour with the principal next Tuesday where I can learn more about the curriculum and see the learning in action.  Another wonderful benefit is that this is a FREE option! 

CONS:  It is still a public school venue, and many of the challenges would be the same as in our local public school option.  And, since Todd and I were both former fine arts teachers in a public school setting, I can say with some level of experience that artsy people are different.  World views, philosophies, values, etc. are not always going to be consistent with what we are teaching her in our home.  That’s not necessarily all bad, because it will provide opportunities for us to talk and teach her things from a biblical perspective.  But we also feel a responsibility to surround Grace with like-minded friends and teachers to give her a solid foundation before she spreads her wings and flies off into the world!

4.  HOMESCHOOL

This is the option that both excites and scares me the most.  There are moments when I think, “I can do this!  It’ll be fun!”  And there are other moments when I tell myself, “No way.  What if I do a terrible job?  What if I forget to teach her something?  What if …?  What if…?”  Anyway, here goes:

PROS:  I honestly believe this is what Todd wants.  For whatever reason, he thinks I will do a good job. I also believe that Grace would love it.  She enjoys our times of reading and learning that we do together now, and I think that it could naturally progress into a more structured homeschool setting.  The most obvious advantage to homeschooling is that Todd and I make the decisions about what and how to teach her: spiritually, educationally, etc.  There is great freedom in the homeschool classroom, and I could tailor our program to meet her needs exclusively.  There is a HUGE homeschool support system in our area, and many families that I esteem highly have chosen this path for their children.  There are programs that I could take advantage of like co-op groups and TAFA (Travis Academy of Fine Arts), which is a fabulous fine arts education program for homeschool children in our area.  There is also great flexibility in the homeschool schedule.  I could decide to take a day to explore the local children’s museum or observe animals at the zoo or learn about Texas history at the Cowgirl Museum.  In addition to standard kindergarten curriculum, I would have time to spend teaching her things that I love like cooking, sewing, music, etc. 

CONS:  My biggest fear is that I won’t do a good job.  But, I guess it’s kind of like parenting:  you seek God’s guidance through scripture and pray for the discipline to do what is right.  Although I have moments of fear, I have finally come to a peace that if I approach this with a heart that is willing and eager to train Grace “the way she should go” (Prov. 22:6) that God will bless that endeavor.  If we do choose to homeschool, then there will be the expense of curriculum, setting up a learning environment at home, and enrolling her in enrichment activities like athletics and/or dance.  We would also pay for TAFA and memberships to places like museums, the zoo, etc.  These expenses are minimal compared to the cost of private school, but they are expenses nonetheless.  We also have concerns that Grace is an only child.  She is naturally shy, although she seems to be gaining more confidence every day.  We would counter this challenge and provide her opportunities for socialization through church, homeschool groups, TAFA, sports teams, ballet classes, etc.

I do have the added comfort of knowing that even if we make the “wrong” decision and our situation doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world.  It’s not like we’re committing to one plan of education for the next 13 years!  We can always re-evaluate and follow a different path on a future date. 

As you can see, we have a lot to think and pray about.  I would appreciate any words of wisdom or guidance from folks out there who have faced similar decisions.  I realize that everyone’s situation is different, so please feel free to leave thoughts about your own experience!

Favorite Childhood Book

A couple of weeks ago I had a sudden memory of one of my favorite childhood books.  I can remember my two brothers and myself begging mom and dad to read this book to us over and over!  It’s so much fun..it’s a Golden book called “There’s a Monster at the End of This Book.”  It stars our loveable, furry Grover from Sesame Street.

I won’t ruin the ending for you, but rest assured that it is delightful!  The message of this book is positive, too.  The lesson is that we need to face our fears, even if we think they are insurmountable.  A good lesson for adults, too! 

Anyway, I got online and found a new copy on EBay for just $1.  It came in the mail yesterday, and I think between Todd and myself we have read it at least fifty-seven times to Grace!  She even wanted to sleep with it last night.  And it is SO CUTE to hear her reading it to herself! 

30-Day Shred – Day 24

I felt much better today.  The soreness drastically reduced and I was ready to tackle my workout.  I did 45 minutes on the treadmill, then contemplated what level to try with Jillian.  Even though I felt like I could possibly do Level 3 again, I decided that I wanted to be able to walk normally this weekend, so I selected Level 1.  But I replaced some of the easier moves with some challenging stuff from Levels 2 and 3. 

Todd’s last day of school is tomorrow…woo hoo!  (Can you believe they have to go on Saturday?)  Texas is crazy…something about a snow make-up day.  In case you’re new to reading my blog, my husband is a school administrator at a 9th grade campus.  He always has great stories to tell of his adventures handling school discipline.  It’s funny how kids will think that the rules don’t apply on the last days of school.  Hello…it’s still against the rules to have a mohawk or wear Daisy Dukes or cuss out a teacher even though school is almost out.  Guess what?  It’s even against the rules to bring pot the last week of school.  The nerve of my husband to reinforce such rules!  You wouldn’t believe how many parents yelled at him today because they had to come pick up their kids for disciplinary reasons.  He even had his name lovingly etched on the bathroom wall by one of the kids who was sent to the office…”Mr. J is a %*$*@#”. 

It’s not all bad, though.  He’s really had a great year and has enjoyed his job immensely.  The end of the year just gets kind of crazy.

Calendar Time

I decided several weeks ago that I needed to work more on Grace’s concept of time.  She’s ready to learn the days of the week and the months in the year.  She needs to gain a better understanding of “today”, “tomorrow”, and “yesterday.” 

I came across a great product when I was on Amazon looking for a birthday present for my sweet niece.  I ended up buying two…I shipped one to Hawaii as a gift and got one for Grace and me to use together.  Here’s the Melissa & Doug Deluxe Magnetic Calendar:

We love it!  I hung it in her bedroom (out of reach), and every morning the first thing we do is calendar time.  We review the month, date, day of the week, and planned activity.  We’ll talk about today, yesterday, and tomorrow by pointing them out on the calendar.  There are tons of magnetic pieces to put on the days, so we can fill up our calendar and have lots to talk about.  Our most-used pieces are:

• Play with friends
• Go to the park
• Go to the library
• Go on a picnic
• Ballet class (this won’t officially start until Sept., but we pretend now)
• Go to church (this one wasn’t part of the set…I made it custom from the extra blank ones that are included)
• Clean room

There are also pieces for “sunny”, “cloudy”, and “rainy”.  So, we look out the window, talk about the weather, and decide which piece we will use today.

This is a great product, and I’m so glad that she’s learning good kindergarten skills now.  Another side benefit is that it’s helping Grace to learn more patience.  If we know about a special activity in advance (like the Ranger baseball game we went to earlier this week), she has a visual representation and a better understanding of how long she will need to wait for that special day.

Long Day

Yesterday was a challenging day for Grace.  I had an appointment with a new dentist (when Todd changed jobs, we had to change dental insurance and they didn’t take my previous dentist) and I decided to take Grace with me instead of arranging for a sitter.  If I had known that it would take THREE HOURS, I would have left her with a friend.  Not only that, but we had to listen to a woman getting a root canal cry and moan and scream for a LONG time.  Which didn’t do much to help my dislike of going to the dentist, and it actually scared Grace. 

I had planned on going home for lunch before my music class I taught starting at 12:30.  But, since we didn’t leave the dentist until 12:15, we had to rush without eating to my class.  Thankfully, I had packed a few extra snacks which helped satisfy Grace until we got home around 3:00. 

Usually, while I am teaching my high school class, Grace watches a video and entertains herself with a backpack full of books, crayons, toys, and snacks.  However, right before my class started, another teacher came in my room and removed the TV/DVD player to use for her class.  You can imagine there was a moment of protest when Barbie as Rapunzel was rudely unplugged without the merest glimmer of sympathy from my fellow teacher. 

Thankfully, Grace was quickly re-directed and stayed busy with her backpack activities.  Until the last 10 minutes of class when she loudly declared to a roomful of teenagers that she “needed to go poopie now!”  Then, when I asked her to wait a few minutes, she declared, “but the poopie is coming out of my bottom RIGHT NOW!”  I scooped her up in my arms, told my giggling students to say a prayer, and continued the rehearsal.  She did make it to the end without an accident (thank you, Lord!). 

When it was time for us to pack up and go home after a three-hour dentist appointment, no real lunch, a two-hour class, and no real naptime, she was whiny and blatantly disobeyed me a couple of times.  Walking to the car, I knew that I needed to discipline her, even though she had been great the overwhelming majority of the time.  However, I just couldn’t overlook her behavior at the end because she was worn out.  It’s really easy to justify poor behavior under difficult circumstances, and I had to remind myself that there are no exceptions for obedience.  Sometimes it’s really hard to be consistent. 

After I disciplined her, I also made sure to thank her for being sweet and obedient most of the day.  Which made her smile.  And give me a big hug.  And melt my heart.

Bunny Nest

One of our favorite games to play outside is “explorer.”  Basically, I hide small toys in the backyard while the kids close their eyes.  Then, we go hunting for the items while singing the Dora the Explorer song, “Come on, vamanos!  Everybody let’s go!…etc.”  Sometimes we really get into it and wear our backpacks.

Anyway, today while we were searching for hidden Sonic kid’s meal toys, we found this little bunny nest.

It’s hard to tell, but I counted six or seven little babies.  They are about three inches long and so, so cute!  It was a great opportunity for me to teach them about God’s creation, mamas and babies, and what animals eat. 

We had to come inside because there is now a severe thunderstorm, and the kids were VERY worried about the bunnies’ safety during the storm.  When we prayed before naptime, Grace asked God to “help the mama bunny find the baby bunnies and get them an umbrella.” 

Great Coupon

Today I found a great coupon for 30% off your entire in-store purchase at Old Navy, Gap, or Banana Republic.  Plus, the store will donate 5% of your purchase price to Teach For America!

This coupon is only good for Mar. 12-15, so mark your calendars!  It’s a great way to update your wardrobe and donate to a good cause at the same time.

Don’t Make Me Count To Three – Ch. 2

Welcome to the second week of our book study through Ginger Plowman’s Don’t Make Me Count To Three!  I hope everyone had the opportunity to get the book and read through Chapter 2.  If you didn’t, no worries!  Just join along with us anytime.  It’s a quick read and easy to get caught up.

This week we started off with an explanation of the difference between the world’s view of discipline and a biblical view of discipline.  Many people view discipline as a punitive, angry act that punishes a child for poor behavior.  Many people think of harshness, yelling, and angry spanking.  Sometimes, the worldly view of discipline is simply behavior modification…..a set of rules and consequences.  One popular system of discipline that comes to mind is “1-2-3 Magic.”  I actually had a counseling professor once tell me that “training a child is like training a dog.”  In the pop psychology world, parents are encouraged to give good consequences for good behavior and remove privileges or give natural consequences for bad behavior.  Another popular strategy is to focus on the good behavior and ignore the bad behavior.

While many of the above strategies may prove useful, ONLY using those strategies misses the “heart” of the issue that is such an important component of biblical discipline.  Ginger sums this idea up perfectly in my favorite line from this chapter on p. 26:

“…we do not need the latest fad methods.  We need God’s methods.”

Another great line is also on p. 26:

“After all, if you can reach the heart, the behavior will take care of itself.”

When I was a teacher, I had to be gone several days during the year for trainings and music conferences.  On these days, a substitute teacher would assume control of my classes.  There were lots of teachers on campus that had excellent control of their classrooms…kids were always behaving, their rooms were neat and organized.  However, when those teachers were gone and substitutes came in, the class went wild.  In my opinion, they were governing their class legalistically and focusing on the outward behavior instead of trying to reach the hearts of their students and make them WANT to be good.  It was always my goal as a teacher to tug at the kid’s heartstrings and make them WANT to learn, be kind, and be respectful of others.  I wanted my classroom to be a haven, a safe place in the school where we were always kind and respectful to each other, EVEN IF I WASN’T THERE.  I’m certainly not saying my students were always perfect, but I continually got notes from substitute teachers saying they were amazed at how well my students behaved.  Many subs asked if I would specifically request them to come back the next time I was absent! 

This same concept of reaching the hearts of our children is what Ginger is saying should be the focus of biblical discipline.  It truly is a big job and takes a lot of effort when we think through and instruct our children in God’s Word.  I am constantly tempted to rush through discipline without using it as an opportunity for Biblical teaching.  Life is crazy, and sometimes we just don’t want to stop and deal with things.  But what I have found is that, over time, problem behaviors diminish when I am consistent to TEACH and not just REACT.

One of the most popular world views today is that people are basically good.  Children are innocent.  We need to look for the good within people, draw it out, let it shine.  Here’s the truth:  WE ARE UGLY.  Our heart is ugly.  We are all sinners.  Children do not escape this truth.  We need to expect our children to sin and not be surprised when they disobey.  After all, parents know that we don’t have to teach our kids to lie, steal, scream, fuss, hit, or disobey.  They come by it naturally, thanks to the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden when sin entered God’s perfect world. 

The biggest responsibility we have as parents is to teach our children how God would have us act and treat each other.  Teach and model God’s forgiveness.  Show them their need for a Savior and how redemption is found in Jesus’s sacrifice.  I don’t know about you, but that responsibility is overwhelming when I ponder it!  Our most important mission field is our own children!

I hope that many of you will join in and comment on what particularly struck you in this week’s reading.  Even if you didn’t read, feel free to comment below on the topics raised.  Perhaps consider one or more of the following questions:

How is a biblical view of discipline/instruction different from the world’s view?  How can focusing only on outward behavior be harmful to a child?  Why is it important to recognize the heart as sinful?

I look forward to reading your comments!  Next Monday stay tuned for a post on Chapter 3!

Rehearsal

I was recently invited by my former co-worker to return to the high school that I used to teach as a band director.  She asked me to conduct weekly master classes with the clarinet players in her band.  Today was my first day, and I really had a good time.

I was nostalgic as I stepped into the band hall that is so familiar to me.  It was there that I first learned to play my clarinet as a middle school student.  It was there that I had my first job interview straight out of college.  It was there that I taught so many lessons and ran so many rehearsals through my band directing years.  The same sights and smells overwhelmed me as I walked through the door.  Chairs and stands, forgotten sheet music, broken pencils, percussion equipment, tiny lockers, inspirational posters.  For a moment, I was transported back in time.

The same familiar face greeted me when I entered the band hall office that used to greet me as a 12-yr-old student.  Some things just never change.  The students that I worked with today were very sweet, respectful, and thrilled with the opportunity to have more individual attention.  Also, on a side note, this is the first time… EVER… that I have walked into a clarinet rehearsal and found every single student with a working reed.  Usually, I spend half my time helping the kids find a reed that isn’t cracked, is less than three months old, and doesn’t have a science experiment growing on the back.  These are the kind of kids that make teaching fun! 

I hadn’t planned on bringing Grace with me, but my plans fell through to leave her with a sitter.  I loaded up a huge bag with books, crayons, dolls, snacks, and a blanket.  To my huge relief, she amused herself and was mostly invisible with the exception of a few requests for snacks, etc.  The kids thought she was really cute and asked me to bring her back next week.

I’m looking forward to my next class in a few days.

DMV

Today I went to the DMV to replace my lost driver's liscense.  To get a replacement, I had to show my birth certificate, Social Security card, voter registration, and marriage certificate.  And pay $10.  And stand in line for 30 minutes with a bored 4-yr-old.  And get fingerprinted.  And have my picture taken again.  Loads of fun.

Just an interesting observation, there were about 40 people in the DMV, and I only heard one other man speaking English.  Everyone else spoke Spanish.  Even the TV in the waiting area was on a Spanish station.  The form I filled out had Spanish on the front and English on the back.  The workers were bilingual.  

If we stay in Texas, I really need to work on developing Spanish language skills in Grace.  I have a very basic knowledge of the language, and perhaps by teaching Grace I can expand my own  knowledge as well.  I have some personal opinions/concerns about bilingual education based on my experience in the schools as a language committee chairperson.  Perhaps I'll delve into those experiences on a future post.  

I feel that English should be our national language, a preferred language, a useable language for all that call this country home.  After all, if I moved to China, I would make every effort to immerse myself in the Chinese language.  I would learn it, use it, and not expect everything to be translated into English for me.  Here in Texas, I do not think that businesses should be forced to print duplicates of everything in Spanish, add a Spanish option on their phone systems, hire expensive translators, or add a Spanish option on their computer systems (ATMs, etc.).  

Another interesting tidbit.....although my husband is certified to be a school principal in the state of Texas, he is not eligible to be a principal in the Fort Worth Independent School District because he is not bilingual.  In my mind, this is bordering on reverse discrimination.

That said, I also feel it is important to learn other languages.  Preferably a language that would be considered useful for the area of the country we live in, countries we are interested in, or future countries of travel.  In our case, because we live in Texas, that language is Spanish.

So, I will make every effort to teach Grace the Spanish language.  I will do this because it will expand her knowledge, give her new opportunities, and create a bond with the state of her birth. 

Teacher's Gifts

I read a recent post about gift ideas for the teachers in our children's life. The basic theme of the article was that teachers really don't need elaborate, expensive gifts or apple-themed "To Teach Is To Touch A Life Forever" gifts. The most memorable and special gifts are inexpensive homemade items and personal notes of appreciation.

As a teacher/counselor for 10 years, I can tell you that the running joke on my campus was a contest to see which teacher could collect the most coffee mugs? And, who could produce the most cliche apple-themed gifts? (I won one year for the coffee mugs). Honestly, the gifts that have meant the most over the years were hand-written notes from parents and students describing something specific for which they were appreciative. You know, teachers get a lot of criticism and complaints throughout the year. There are mean and unreasonable parents out there! It is really special to read a sweet note and realize that many people appreciate our commitment to teach and mentor children.

When I was growing up, my mom was the master at giving good teacher's gifts. She never spent a lot of money, but she spent a lot of time creating beautiful, handmade items to give. One of my former teachers told me 20 years later (!) that she still used the beautiful apron that my mom sewed for her when I was in 6th grade.

I will say that the most memorable gift I received as a counselor was not handmade or handwritten. One of my "frequent flyer" 6th grade girls brought me a collection of Bath & Body Works lotions and creams in different scents. She walked in my office, opened her backpack, and started lining the bottles up on my desk. She told me that she was so grateful for my help that semester and that she would never forget me. While I thought the gift was given in a slightly odd manner, I was truly appreciative and assured her that her gift was very thoughtful and I would look forward to using them. As soon as she walked out the door, I enjoyed opening the bottles and smelling the latest scents of the season. Unfortunately, a couple of days later, her father called to tell me that she had SHOPLIFTED the items from the mall. Even though I had already used some of the lotions, I offered to give them back. He wouldn't hear of it and said that he was making his daughter work to make restitution for the theft. I must say that a part of me was strangely honored to know that my student was willing to shoplift to give me a nice gift!

(Not So) Shocking Story

Note: This post is not for young readers.

I recently read an article about the prevalence of sexual activity among our nation's teens. According to an anonymous survey, the average age for a girl to lose her virginity is 15. Even more shocking, 14% of girls lose their virginity at school. Sexually transmitted diseases are on the increase, and kids are having sex more now than ever before.

Sadly, this new data does not surprise me. Most of the children I worked with in the schools were "troubled", and their troubles often included sexual issues. (And this was in an elementary school!). When I taught high school, we often made accommodations for girls who were pregnant or recovering from an abortion. Students were constantly getting "caught" in the bathrooms, on the bus, and in deserted classrooms.

Unfortunately, in today's world, these types of data are a natural result of our sex-crazed society. Our children are exposed to so much more in society, on TV, on the computer, and in the classroom than we were as kids. What an awesome responsibility it is as a parent to shelter our kids from as much inappropriate exposure as possible while educating them about what God designed for sex.

And that brings me to my next point: teaching our kids about sex. We should not remain silent on the subject of sex. The Bible does not remain silent, but is very clear about God's perfect design for sex within a marriage. What a precious gift God has given to married couples to express their love and commitment to each other! Believe me, if we remain silent, they will learn and take to heart the sexual philosophies espoused by their peers, music, movies, and TV.

A friend of mine has a daughter who was recently invited to lead a Disciple Now conference for teenagers in a local Baptist church. She couldn't believe how many of the youth were already sexually active....kids who had grown up in the church and were part of Christian families. How easy it is for young people to be drawn into the "normalcy" of sexual activity!

I want to also make the observation that sometimes despite the best intentions by parents and the church to teach children about God's design for sexual intimacy in marriage, young unmarried adults will become sexually active. This is not a failure on our part as a parent or teacher, it is a result of sin and the fall of mankind. We should not lose heart as parents, but remain faithful to love and teach our children about God's grace and forgiveness.

How thankful I am for a God who chose to give the gift of sex within a marriage. What an awesome responsibility it is for Todd and me to raise our daughter in today's world where there are so many mixed messages. Our prayer is that we will remain faithful to our calling and make wise parenting decisions as Grace grows older.

Mother Goose

Today we went to see a special performance by Mother Goose at the library. (Think Paula Deen in a Little House On The Prarie dress). She is a very talented puppeteer and singer. I was quite impressed, especially after I found out she got paid $250 for her 45-minute performance. Surely there's something I could do to entertain kids for that kind of money!

Grace was mesmerized. She watched, laughed, and participated in all the games and activities. When it was time to go I had to literally drag her away from Mother Goose's feet.

Speaking of Mother Goose, I've got to mention one of our favorite books, The Christian Mother Goose Book. I grew up memorizing and reciting these great poems that put a Christian twist on the original rhymes. For example:

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them;
But Jesus knows and can bring them home,
Wagging their tails behind them.

Or,

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
Humpty Dumpty shouted, "Amen!
God can put me together again."

Normalization of Homosexuality

While Grace and I were at the library last week, I ran across a book that I had heard of but never seen. It is called "Heather Has Two Mommies." This book is the story of a little girl who is raised by lesbian parents, and it portrays the homosexual lifestyle in a positive light. I specifically remember one of my counseling professors at Texas Woman's University praising this book for being one of the first books written to educate children on the concept of appreciating the homosexual lifestyle.

If your child attends public school, more than likely your child will be exposed to something like this at some point in their education. When I was a school counselor, I was fortunate to work with socially conservative principals who did not expect me to address acceptance of homosexuality in my guidance curricula. Other counselors I knew were not so fortunate. Counseling education programs and the psychological community are intensely devoted to normalizing homosexuality, and the best place to start is in the minds of children.

As parents we should not shy away from the subject of homosexuality with our children. The Bible certainly does not shy away from the subject, and it is our responsibility to teach our children about God's design for marriage between a man and a woman. If we don't, it can be very confusing for our children when they are constantly seeing acceptance of homosexuality in the schools, on TV, in movies, and in the general public.

This does not mean that we teach our children to hate people who practice or accept homosexuality. On the contrary, we should teach our children that everyone is to be treated with respect. However, it is important for our children to understand that homosexuality is not what God intended when he created man and woman.

I was surprised to learn that Proposition 8 passed in California last week. It seems that even in one of the most liberal states in our nation, people are not ready to accept two mommies for Heather.

Homeschooling In America

I came across this article on this blog. Basically, the crux of the article is that Obama does not believe parents should have the choice to homeschool children. I believe that if Obama is elected, he will push legislation to make it very difficult or impossible for parents to educate children in the home. Obama and other democratic nominees have long been in the pockets of the NEA and other teacher's unions. They wish to eliminate school choice, close charter schools, and eliminate home schooing.

This is such a difficult issue for me. I can honestly see both sides of the issue. However, God commands us to "Train up a child in the way he should go." It is a parent's job to decide the best way their children should be educated. For some, this is the public school. For some, private Christian schools. For some charter schools or private schools. For others, homeschooling. My opinion is that we should have the CHOICE. We know what is best for our particular child, not the government.

I have been a member of a teacher's union. My husband is currently a member of a teacher's union. We are aware of the fact that these unions are VEHEMENTLY opposed to school choice and homeschooling. However, we made the choice to be a member of these unions for our own protection (liability insurance). While a member of the union, I was pretty vocal about my political beliefs. We did NOT support the same political candidates that were endorsed by our union. I often called Austin and respectfully expressed my concern about certain candidates that were endorsed. I still do....I did it yesterday.

Now, the other side of the coin. As a school counselor, one of my responsibilities was completing educational testing on students who had been homeschooled and were now enrolling in the public school. I used the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. The ITBS is a nationally recognized exam that is nationally normed every three years. It is a thorough test and gives a pretty good indication of a student's knowledge. There are several parts to this test, given over separate periods of time. I used most sections of the test including: Vocabulary, Word Analysis, Language, Reading Comprehension, Math Computation, Math Problem Solving, and Listening Skills. The administration in our school would examine the testing results and we would use it as a guide to determine if the student was academically ready to be placed in a specific grade level.

Here is what I found: Out of HUNDREDS of students that I tested over a period of seven years, there were less than 20 students (that's being generous) who showed an academic readiness for the grade in which they were enrolling. We realize that every student does not have good test-taking skills, especially those who have been in a homeschool situation. So, we often asked the parents to provide evidence and examples of the child's learning. Our thought was if we could see evidence of learning on grade level in their homeschool assignments, we would consider that when deciding to place the child in the age-appropriate grade level. Of all the parents I requested this evidence from, only TWO families were able to deliver. Most parents got very uncomfortable, couldn't answer direct questions about their choice of homeschool curricula and were "unwilling" to let us review the child's work. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the academic learning that was taking place in their homeschool situation was minimal to none.

Another factor to consider is the type of homeschool children I was testing. Most had been in public school previously, left for one reason or another (usually discipline-related), and were now re-enrolling after a couple of years. So, my personal data is much different from what what national data says about the academic success of homeschool children. See this article for evidence of excellent college preparedness in homeschoolers.

I tell you my experience of dealing with homeschooled children to provide a reason why so many educators feel strongly against school choice. It is VERY sad to see children whose parents do not take the God-given responsibility seriously to educate their children. Many of these "homeschooled" children were left at home alone all day while their parents worked, having no supervision at all. However, I DO NOT believe that all parents should be punished because some refuse to take their responsibility seriously.

The laws here in Texas concerning homeschool governance are not restrictive. Parents are not required to provide annual educational evidence of growth to school officials. Homeschool children are not required to take part in the state testing program. However, if school personnel feel that a student is not being served by homeschooling, the district truancy officer has the authority to visit the household and request evidence of education. If the evidence is not satisfactory, the truancy officer can refer the parent(s) to the court for truancy charges. This almost never happens. Our truancy officers are busy enough chasing all the public education students who don't show up for school.

As you can see, the issue of school choice is complex. I can sympathize with educators who feel that all children should be enrolled in a school. They have seen children who have been disserviced by homeschooling over and over again. It is frustrating for teachers to try to re-teach all the concepts that were lost during the student's haitus of "homeschooling."

However, this does not change my opinion that parents should be free to choose homeschooling for their children. I have met so many families over the years in my churches and personal circle of friends that do an excellent job of homeschooling. It is so evident in their children. It is a wonderful way for Christian parents to instill sound and Biblical teaching! There is such a wide array of excellent curricula, homeschool co-ops, and resources for parents. If Obama is elected, I pray that legislation will not be successful that will restrict or eliminate the right of parents to homeschool.