21 Rules of This House – Rule #2

If you are recently joining me on this series, here’s a link to all 21 Rules.  And here are my thoughts on Rule #1. 

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Rule #2 – We love, honor, and pray for one another.

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This one is huge.  Basically, the first two rules are the foundation of all that follows.  We love God (Rule #1), and we love others (Rule #2). 

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:27

I guess the first thing to point out is that Rule #2 is about others.  Not ourselves.  It’s a hard concept to explain in our self-obsessed society.  Instead of worrying about what others do or don’t do to make us “happy”, we should strive to put others first by looking for ways to serve each other. 

Can you imagine what a home would be like where every family member looked for ways to show love and serve?  Where we always showed respect and consideration, and prayed faithfully for each other? 

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.  James 5:16

Webster’s Dictionary defines honor as:  “to regard or treat someone with admiration and respect.”  From a young age, we should be teaching our children to treat family members in this way.  Not just parents and other adults…but siblings as well. 

We should strive to make our home a haven from the world…a place where we speak kindly to each other, consider each other’s needs, and look for ways to show love.  What a wonderful legacy to leave our children!

Here are some practical suggestions for how to implement Rule #2:

• Insist that everyone (including parents) speak to each other kindly and respectfully.
• Nix the sarcasm.  Especially the kind that is belittles others.  (I’m surprised lightening didn’t strike when I typed this…I need to work on it.)
• Share prayer requests with each other during family devotionals and/or mealtimes.  Pray together.  Consider helping your kids keep a prayer journal.
• Recognize and reinforce kindness.
• When we sin against each other, apologize and show forgiveness.
• Don’t hold grudges. (Second lightening strike.)
• This one is OH SO IMPORTANT, and it’s for parents:  Don’t discipline in anger.  Discipline in love.  Anger and indignation have no place in a discipline situation.  Take a minute…pray…then come back and handle things calmly. 
• Make a game out of doing kind things for each other.  Secretly do something nice, then have fun guessing who did what!
• And, finally…express your love to each other.  For some people this is easy.  For some people it’s very difficult.  The bottom line is we need to hear the words “I love you.”  Children, especially, need to hear these words from their parents.  Just because you say it a lot doesn’t make it mean any less!

As always, I welcome your thoughts on this post!  The first two rules are pretty heavy.  Really, if we truly understood and obeyed the first two rules, there would be no need for Rules #3-21!

21 Rules of This House – Rule #1

Thanks for all the feedback via my blog, Facebook, and e-mail.  It looks like a lot of you share my interest in Gregg Harris’s 21 Rules of This House!  My husband already publically committed to work on following #14-19, bless his heart.  He’s not the only one…I struggle as well.  My prayer is that by working through these rules, we will be on the road to a happier and more peaceful home!

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Rule #1 – We obey God.

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I love that the first rule is the foundation on which the other 20 rules are written, as well as the foundation of the first four 10 Commandments.  In order to obey God, we must acknowledge God as our creator.  He made us and is the author of our life. 

“You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For you created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created.” Rev. 4:11

In His great mercy, He takes care of us.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:6

This doesn’t mean that we only love and obey God when things are going our way.  God does not promise that our lives will be free of trials!  This is what He promises:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

How can we NOT want to love and obey God when He gives us the gift of eternal life?  Even though we don’t deserve it!  The hardships of this life are but a moment in the expanse of eternity.  {Lord, help me remember this.}

Because of these truths, we should have a heart that seeks to understand God and obey Him more every day.  It’s a whole new way of thinking!  Everything we do, say…how we act, speak…what we spend our time doing…how we spend our money…our WHOLE LIVES should be lived in a way that seeks to obey God simply because we love Him and are thankful for the gift of eternal life. 

When we shift our way of living from how to please ourselves to how to please God, it gives us great freedom AND happiness!  Instead of being slaves to our own sinful desires, we can finally love others, forgive others, experience contentment, and have true joy in Christ.  It is the journey of the Christian life…and it always ends with the joy of eternal life with Christ.

Practically speaking, here are some ideas of how we can implement this rule in the home:

• Read the Bible.  Read the teachings of Jesus, read Proverbs, do a word study on the word “obey.”  There are some great examples in the Old Testament of kings of Israel who did not obey God…and the destruction that followed.  Conversely, there were kings who did obey God…and were blessed.
• Have a regular time of family devotions.  What better way for our kids to learn how to love and obey God?  When we spend time outside of church studying Scripture, it communicates to our kids how important God’s truths are! 
• Think before we speak/act. (“What does God teach about this?  How would God have me respond?”)
• Make obeying God part of our conversation.  Talk out loud with our kids about different choices and which choices are obedient to God.
• Post these things around the house:  10 Commandments, verses that talk about obeying God (Acts 5:29, Rom. 6:17, Heb. 5:9, etc.), 21 Rules of This House.

Thanks for following along.  I would LOVE to hear from you!  Perhaps you have comments, questions, or additional ideas about how to implement this rule in your home.  I welcome all feedback!

21 Rules of This House

A while back, I attended a small group fellowship for young families in my dad’s church.  My dad, as pastor, was working through Gregg Harris’s 21 Rules of This House.  I was struck by the wisdom and simplicity of the rules.  They just make sense.  This list was posted on the refrigerator when I was a kid, and the lessons have stuck in many ways.  I’d like them to stick in more ways!

I decided at that time to work through the rules on my blog.  I want to do this to expose people that might not otherwise have seen them, but also to work through them for my own family’s benefit!  All comments and feedback are welcomed from anyone who wants to follow along with me!

Of course, it’s important to remember that the ultimate rules for living come from the 10 Commandments and the teachings of Jesus Christ, but these 21 simple rules are a practical application of how we are taught to live in Scripture. 

What I would like to do is take one rule per week and just give my thoughts on how to apply it to the home.  I want to correlate it with the 10 Commandments and other verses in the Bible.  I want to share how Todd and I plan to teach the rule in our home.

Without further ado….here are the 21 Rules of This House!

1. We obey God.
2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
3. We tell the truth.
4. We consider one another's interests ahead of our own.
5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
15. When we open something, we close it.
16. When we take something out, we put it away.
17. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.
21. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Kindergarten Contemplations

It’s hard to believe that I’m even writing this post because I am having difficulty with the fact that my baby will soon be old enough for school.  It really doesn’t seem like five years since Todd and I held her in our arms and thanked God for her miraculous birth!  And I’ve heard it only gets faster…

We have some big decisions coming up in the next couple of months about Grace’s education.  There are so many things to consider.  Of course, each option has both pros and cons, and we are prayerfully seeking the best choice for us.

Side note:  This post is not meant to criticize any school or program.  A parent’s right to determine the best education for their child(ren) is a highly personal and subjective matter.  There is no right answer for everyone!

Todd and I have not made a final decision yet, but here are the options that are available and my thoughts on the matter:

1.  LOCAL PUBLIC SCHOOL

PROS:  I am a former employee of the current district in which we reside.  I know a lot of people and I have a high level of confidence in the kindergarten program in our neighborhood school.  This is obviously the easiest option for us to choose because it is FREE and CONVENIENT (a short walking distance from our home).  It would be quite easy for me to become involved in the school.  A few of Grace’s friends from church will be beginning this school in the fall, so she will see some familiar faces.  It would also be nice to be a part of the local community in which we live.

CONS:  The class size is large (up to 21) and Grace has a tendency to get lost in the crowd.  She is rather quiet and reserved (until you get to know her), and she doesn’t bring a lot of attention to herself.  I’m afraid that she might not get as much academic attention as she would in another option.  Also, I’ve been in a lot of kindergarten classes and I’ve seen a lot of shocking things.  Regardless of how excellent the teacher is, in a public classroom, Grace will be exposed to things I would rather her not see.  I have no desire for her to grow up in a bubble, completely shut off from reality, but Todd and I have a responsibility to protect her as best we can.

2.  LOCAL CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

PROS:  Smaller class sizes and an emphasis on spiritual growth are the biggest advantages to this option.  The academic rigor is also well-known.  Many of our church friends attend and/or work in this school.  The location is convenient (about 2-3 miles), and the area is very safe.  Most of the families/employees in this school share similar values and I know it would be a great place for us to get involved and make new friends.

CONS:  The main problem is cost.  Private school is quite expensive, and in order for Grace to attend this school, I would need to go back to work.  This is something that we are considering, but it is not ideal.  When I resigned from public education three years ago to become a full-time homemaker, we realized that it was exactly what our family needed.  That topic warrants an entire post, but everyone is happier since I stepped out of the workforce.

3.  LOCAL FINE ARTS CHARTER SCHOOL

PROS:  This is a relatively new charter school with an excellent reputation.  The kindergarten class size is only 12, and there is an emphasis on fine arts:  ballet, music, and art.  This is right up Grace’s alley.  Instead of one ballet class per week, she would receive classical ballet four days per week.  The academic rigor is respectable as evidenced by high testing scores.  The convenience is good (about 5 miles away) in a safe area.  I have friends who have put their children in this school and are very happy.  I am looking forward to a tour with the principal next Tuesday where I can learn more about the curriculum and see the learning in action.  Another wonderful benefit is that this is a FREE option! 

CONS:  It is still a public school venue, and many of the challenges would be the same as in our local public school option.  And, since Todd and I were both former fine arts teachers in a public school setting, I can say with some level of experience that artsy people are different.  World views, philosophies, values, etc. are not always going to be consistent with what we are teaching her in our home.  That’s not necessarily all bad, because it will provide opportunities for us to talk and teach her things from a biblical perspective.  But we also feel a responsibility to surround Grace with like-minded friends and teachers to give her a solid foundation before she spreads her wings and flies off into the world!

4.  HOMESCHOOL

This is the option that both excites and scares me the most.  There are moments when I think, “I can do this!  It’ll be fun!”  And there are other moments when I tell myself, “No way.  What if I do a terrible job?  What if I forget to teach her something?  What if …?  What if…?”  Anyway, here goes:

PROS:  I honestly believe this is what Todd wants.  For whatever reason, he thinks I will do a good job. I also believe that Grace would love it.  She enjoys our times of reading and learning that we do together now, and I think that it could naturally progress into a more structured homeschool setting.  The most obvious advantage to homeschooling is that Todd and I make the decisions about what and how to teach her: spiritually, educationally, etc.  There is great freedom in the homeschool classroom, and I could tailor our program to meet her needs exclusively.  There is a HUGE homeschool support system in our area, and many families that I esteem highly have chosen this path for their children.  There are programs that I could take advantage of like co-op groups and TAFA (Travis Academy of Fine Arts), which is a fabulous fine arts education program for homeschool children in our area.  There is also great flexibility in the homeschool schedule.  I could decide to take a day to explore the local children’s museum or observe animals at the zoo or learn about Texas history at the Cowgirl Museum.  In addition to standard kindergarten curriculum, I would have time to spend teaching her things that I love like cooking, sewing, music, etc. 

CONS:  My biggest fear is that I won’t do a good job.  But, I guess it’s kind of like parenting:  you seek God’s guidance through scripture and pray for the discipline to do what is right.  Although I have moments of fear, I have finally come to a peace that if I approach this with a heart that is willing and eager to train Grace “the way she should go” (Prov. 22:6) that God will bless that endeavor.  If we do choose to homeschool, then there will be the expense of curriculum, setting up a learning environment at home, and enrolling her in enrichment activities like athletics and/or dance.  We would also pay for TAFA and memberships to places like museums, the zoo, etc.  These expenses are minimal compared to the cost of private school, but they are expenses nonetheless.  We also have concerns that Grace is an only child.  She is naturally shy, although she seems to be gaining more confidence every day.  We would counter this challenge and provide her opportunities for socialization through church, homeschool groups, TAFA, sports teams, ballet classes, etc.

I do have the added comfort of knowing that even if we make the “wrong” decision and our situation doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world.  It’s not like we’re committing to one plan of education for the next 13 years!  We can always re-evaluate and follow a different path on a future date. 

As you can see, we have a lot to think and pray about.  I would appreciate any words of wisdom or guidance from folks out there who have faced similar decisions.  I realize that everyone’s situation is different, so please feel free to leave thoughts about your own experience!

Deployment

My sweet brother Jon is leaving today for another deployment to the Middle East.  This time he will be in Afghanistan for several months.  He leaves behind his pregnant wife, 3-yr-old, and 1-yr-old daughters. 

It’s at times like this that I find it difficult to obey God’s command not to worry, especially when I’m constantly bombarded with media coverage of the atrocities that are happening over there (and here!).  But part of walking in faith is trusting that God’s plan is working just as it should, no matter how difficult or worrisome it seems. 

We all covet your prayers for Jon and his family during this lengthy time of service.  Specifically, you can pray for protection for Jon and his entire Marine unit, a healthy pregnancy for his wife, and comfort for each member of their family during his absence.

I also encourage you to continue to lift in prayer all members of our military who give such great personal sacrifice to ensure our freedom to live as we do.  Here in Texas, our national and state flags are being flown at half-mast because of the terrible Ft. Hood tragedy.  It is a constant reminder of the force of evil that is at work in this world. 

Thank you, veterans, for your works of service to this country.

Wedding Blessings

Last night Todd and I attended a special event for a sweet young woman who is getting married in a few weeks.  We’ve known Claire for many years and been good friends with her family.  We’ve watched her grow and mature into a beautiful woman who is eager to marry and start her own family.  This wedding is extra-special because it’s also Grace’s debut as a flower girl!

I’ve never been to an event like last night, and it was the perfect way for people who love Claire to give their blessings on her upcoming marriage.  After a time of fellowship and dessert, we gathered in a group and went around one at a time, giving words of encouragement and advice about marriage.  Claire and Cal got to hear words of wisdom from people who have been married as many as 50 years!  Then we had a brief time of prayer for the couple.

In lieu of gifts, the people who came were asked to write cards and/or letters that Claire and Cal will open and read on their 1st, 10th, and 25th wedding anniversaries.  Isn’t that a neat idea?  Todd and I had fun writing our letters together.

In a world where marriage is often treated as flippantly as buying a new car, it was truly special to see this couple treat their upcoming nuptials with such reverence and maturity.  Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be filled with joy and comfort when it’s built on a solid spiritual foundation.  I wish Claire and Cal many, many years of happiness!

Our Little Angel

We’ve been having a new issue with our sweet Grace.  Lying.  Yes, she’s starting to figure out that she can lie about something in order to get what she wants.

Example:

When she finishes her meals after lunch or dinner, I will sometimes give her dessert.  She can pick a cookie or a fun pack of M&Ms, etc.  She doesn’t get dessert until she finishes everything on her plate.  Lately she’s been doing really well.  At dinner the other night, she finished her meal very quickly and proudly showed off her empty plate.  “Now I get a treat, Mama, because I ate ALL my food!” 

In a brief moment of mama’s intuition, I realized that she could not have eaten it all that quickly.  Especially the zucchini/squash stir-fry that she usually takes longer to eat…  So I asked her where the zucchini was.  She hung her head, stood up from her chair, and lifted the dining room chair cover.  Underneath was some fresh zucchini along with a variety of food from other meals over the past few days that she had hidden.  I asked her if there was food anywhere else.  She walked over to our low coffee table, got on her hands and knees, and pulled out a muffin from last Tuesday as well as some green beans and pieces of cheese. 

It’s truly a miracle that we haven’t seen any R.O.U.S.’s.  (Rodents Of Unusual Size…name that movie!).  Nor have we smelled anything, which is even more surprising. 

Needless to say, I had a great opportunity to teach her about what God thinks of lying.  Since then, she’s done it two more times.  On both occasions, I took the time to discipline her and teach her about honesty and trust.  My very wise friend Joy pointed out that she’s getting old enough to begin to comprehend her sinful nature and learn about why she needs a Savior. 

You know, we really shouldn’t be surprised when our kids lie.  Frankly, I’m surprised that we haven’t dealt in depth with this issue until now.  Since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, when sin entered the world, our human nature is completely self-centered.  That’s why we have to teach kids to love others, to share, to obey, to be respectful…it doesn’t come naturally. 

I think it’s important to not gloss over or chuckle when our kids do something like hide food in order to get dessert.  Teaching them when they are young about lying shows them that sin is serious.  It’s not “cute”, nor is it simply a developmental milestone.  It’s so serious that God had to send His only Son to die a blameless death on the cross in order to save us from our sin. 

My deepest desire, what I pray for most, is that one day Grace will realize her need for a Savior, accept God’s precious gift of salvation, and live a life of service to Him. 

In the meantime, I’ll just keep hoping I don’t run across any more hidden decomposing vegetables around my house.

Mother’s Day

I have very mixed feelings about the Mother’s Day holiday. 

On one hand, I am EXCEEDINGLY THANKFUL to celebrate my special mom.  I do not take lightly the gift of having her be such a constant part of my life.  Even though we live several hours away from each other, rarely does a day go by that we don’t talk on the phone.  I am truly blessed to have her friendship, wisdom, and guidance in my life.  She has always given me biblical counsel and unconditional love.  She is a strong woman that has fought and survived breast cancer.  She has a servant’s heart that is always willing to drop everything and take care of her family members…even if it means jumping on an airplane to help me and my other two sisters-in-law through pregnancy, bed rest, surgeries, deliveries, joys, sorrows, etc.  I am so blessed to have her in my life.

I am also EXCEEDINGLY THANKFUL to celebrate Mother’s Day as a mom.  From the time I was a little girl, I dreamed of having children of my own.  I prayed to become a mom for many, many years.  Motherhood has brought me so much joy, and I have welcomed all the changes and experiences that come with being a parent.  I am so blessed to have my little Grace Elizabeth.  She is truly a miracle child, an undeserved gift from God!

Which brings me to my first reservation about this holiday.  I remember all the years when I so desperately wanted to become a mom but it just wasn’t happening.  For infertile women, Mother’s Day is the hardest day of the year.  And now when I celebrate Mother’s Day, I can’t help but have a deep empathy for the feelings that other women are experiencing who are infertile, or still single and dreaming of a family.  It’s just hard.  Even when you have a strong faith and trust in God’s plan, the battle against falling into a depression remains.  On past Mother’s Days, I can remember sitting in our church’s choir loft and looking around at all the women sitting in our congregation wearing beautiful corsages.  It seemed that everyone was a mom except me.  Every time some well-meaning church member would wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, assuming that I was a parent, I would smile and reply “thank you” while the knife twisted a little deeper. 

Some of my friends also have a complicated relationship with their mother that causes much stress on this holiday.  The commercialism of our society places expectations on families to make a big deal out of days like Mother’s Day.  When there are underlying problems in the mother/child relationship, this holiday can augment those issues.  I suppose the argument could be made that Mother’s Day is an opportunity to resolve issues and make peace, but let’s be honest…when the relationship is broken, much more is needed than what can be gained by a bouquet of flowers and a Hallmark card.

I also have several friends who are celebrating Mother’s Day after losing their moms in recent years.  This day will provide a difficult mix of joy, thankfulness, and grief.

Honestly, if it was up to me, I would do away with the whole holiday.   I want to celebrate my own mother by loving and honoring her every day of the year.  I celebrate the amazing gift of becoming a mother myself every time Grace kisses me on the cheek, says “I love you”, or gives me a sweet smile.  I’ve even learned to celebrate and give thanks when she’s being difficult, remembering that this is what I prayed for!  And I’d like to avoid augmenting the pain of all the special circumstances that make Mother’s Day hard for so many people. 

But, with all that being said, I want to wish everyone a Happy Mother’s Day!  I pray that, regardless of your situation, it will be a day to give thanks, trust the Lord, and give any burdens to the One who can carry them (and us!).    

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”  (Jeremiah 29:11-12)

Easter Weekend

We had a full, happy Easter weekend!  The Passion performances went very well, and Todd ended up taking Grace to see the last show on Saturday night.  We talked about it an length before deciding to allow her to see it.  There are many extremely graphic scenes including the beating and crucifixion of Jesus.  The professional make-up artists and body doubles did an amazing job of making everything look very real, and I even had a difficult time watching at times.

We are careful to protect her from watching acts of violence on TV or movies.  After all, she is only four years old, and there is just nothing redeeming in her seeing those types of things.  However, the depiction of Jesus’s suffering is not meaningless violence.  It is horrible, it is graphic, it is unimaginable, and it is meaningful.  We want her to understand how much Jesus suffered for us, so we ultimately decided to let her watch these scenes. 

We have talked about the death and resurrection of Jesus on a regular basis since she was born, but we found out this morning that it has suddenly become much more real to her.  We were eating a fellowship breakfast at church and talking about the food when, out of the blue, Grace started shaking her head and saying, “That’s so sad, that’s so sad…”  I asked her what was sad and she replied, “They were mean to Jesus.  They hurt Jesus.  That’s so sad.”  I said, “Yes, that was very sad when they hurt him and he died on the cross.  But, what happened after he died?”  Grace responded by throwing her hands in the air and exclaiming, “He’s alive!”.  This is the first time that she has ever verbalized, on her own without prompting, the events of Jesus’s death and resurrection.  I am thankful that we decided to take her to the show on Saturday, and I hope that she will continue to talk about and think about the events she saw portrayed.

She was occasionally restless during the performance, and she never did recognize me on stage until the very end when I took off my Jewish headdress for the heaven scene.  Here’s a picture of me and Grace with my friend Monica.  Grace wanted to see the angels up close after the show!

After being at The Passion late last night, we had to get up early and be at church by 7:30 since I was singing in the sunrise service.  Thankfully, Grace was excited to wake up early because she knew we were meeting her good friend Natalie and sitting with her during the service.

She made it through and was sweet and quiet the whole time!  Whew!  It was fun to worship together as a family.  We are considering taking her out of child care a year early and starting big church this summer.  She’s probably ready.

After the service, we found our sweet friend that I babysit during the week.  He was very proud to tell me that he was dressed like a gentleman!

After Sunday School and the second service, we went to Larry and Joy’s house for a delicious lunch and fellowship.  They are so sweet to include us as part of their family during holidays.  They had a full house, and Grace enjoyed chasing their dog and various other members of their family around while we got the food ready. 

The only bad thing today was that I accidentally gave Grace some of the corn pudding I made without thinking about the fact that there was a high concentration of eggs.  She immediately reacted with itching and hives around her mouth, and I had to give her a big dose of the Benedryl that I always keep in my purse.  It made her kind of loopy, and I couldn’t keep her awake after we left their house.  She’s been sleeping since 5:00, and it’s now almost 9:00 p.m.  I’ll probably wake her up in a minute, feed her, then put her back to bed.  She’s had a busy week, too, and needs to catch up on her sleep!

The only other brief moment of sadness today was being away from my dad on his birthday.  Happy Birthday Dad!  My whole life, I have been so blessed to be his daughter.  I know how unusual and wonderful it is to be born to a father who is wise, loving, firm, gracious, and kind.  I hope that we have many more years to celebrate together.  I love you, dad!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend with your family.  He is risen!  He is risen indeed!

Good Friday

We’re having a restful Good Friday today.  Todd did have to work for half the day to make up for a snow day (Texas translation:  morning of intense ice/sleet that melts quickly as soon as the sun comes up).  Thankfully, he’ll be home shortly after lunchtime, so we’ll have a short time together as a family before I leave for opening night of The Passion.  Ticket sales are going well, so it looks like we’ll have a packed house tonight!  The main reason we are performing in a public venue this year instead of our church sanctuary is to try to reach people who might feel uncomfortable going to a church but would not think twice about buying tickets to a popular performance facility.  There will be a time of invitation at the end where volunteers and pastors will be available to speak with audience members who wish to ask questions or process what they have seen and (hopefully) seek a personal relationship with God. 

The only bad thing about being a part of this production is leaving Grace for lots of rehearsals and performances.  She has been a little out of sorts for the past two days mostly due to a flair-up of her eczema.  Her little legs look like someone took a meat mallet to them, and no amount of lotion or coconut oil is relieving her itching and discomfort.  We are considering a visit to an allergist.  She has a history of food sensitivities (as did I in my childhood).  And in my research, many people have found eczema relief by eliminating certain foods from their diet, one at a time, until the offender is discovered.  At this point, I’m willing to try anything to help her feel better.

Although we will miss our family terribly over this Easter weekend, we are looking forward to spending time with our sweet friends on Sunday after church.  They have adopted us into their family and graciously included us on many holiday celebrations over the years.  Todd’s family and my family is spread all over the nation:  Louisiana, Alabama, Hawaii, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia.  As you can imagine, we have spent many a holiday break in the car, traveling to various destinations to see our loved ones.  (Although we haven’t made it to Hawaii yet…)  And until someone figures out how to “beam us up” like they do on Star Trek, we’ll continue to hit the road for longer holiday breaks!

Amidst the sometimes hurried chaos that comes with holiday preparations, I hope that everyone takes the time to remember why we call today “Good Friday.”  How amazing it is to celebrate a Savior that was willing to die a horrific, undeserved death on the cross so that we might have forgiveness and eternal life!  Blessings to you all!

Closed Doors

I have found through experience that when a child closes a door, there is usually something going on behind the door that they want to hide.  It was funny that this happened today after I read a blog post that specifically addressed closing doors in the home.  As I was putting on my face for the day, I heard my bedroom door softly click shut.  I tiptoed out from my bathroom, passed through my bedroom, and gently opened the door.  I found my 4-year-old Grace on the floor in the hallway, immersed in a bowlful of decorative rocks that she KNEW were a no-no. 

Isn’t life like that, too?  Perhaps we close an emotional door, refusing to open up and grow a relationship with another person out of fear or shame.  Perhaps we close a spiritual door, refusing to seek fellowship with God because we are holding on to sin in our heart.  Perhaps we close a physical door, shutting out others from witnessing things we say or do that we wish to keep secret.

The good news is that we have a gracious and forgiving Heavenly Father who wants to open our doors and come inside our hearts.  In Revelation 4:20-21, we are taught that Christ says,

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.  To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.”

May God grant us the strength to open our physical, emotional, and spiritual doors!  As a practical application, I made a new rule this morning for our daughter:  all doors remain open unless we close them for matters of modesty.  I am hoping that this will foster a spirit of accountability and fellowship.  Of course there will be times when someone in our household will desire alone-time.  Boundaries can be taught and enforced that guarantee moments to ourselves.  The key, I believe, is to grant isolation (if desired) in moderation without the physical barrier of a closed door and all that it represents.

Words of Wisdom

If you are a Christian woman who has ever struggled with weight-loss issues, PLEASE click over and read this post. 

I can’t tell you how much this post spoke to my soul this morning.  If you are like me, perhaps you have allowed your struggle to reach the perfect (or acceptable) BMI affect your spiritual growth.  After all, our body is a temple, right?  If we do not demonstrate self-control and allow our bodies to be overweight, this is a spiritual issue, right?  Well, in some cases, maybe.  But in a lot of cases, I don’t think so. 

If excess weight is a result of idolizing food, turning to food as a comfort instead of turning to our Savior in times of stress, perhaps this could be considered a spiritual issue.  It’s definitely something to consider if you find yourself gorging on unhealthy foods, then feeling burdened with guilt and depression.  I would encourage these women to cast their burdens upon the Lord and trust Him to provide comfort rather than turning to food to provide a temporary comfort.

However, I believe that there are many women out there who experience difficulty losing/maintaining weight from causes other than spiritual issues.  These might include side effects from medication, thyroid problems, PCOS, genetic predisposition, inactivity due to injury, and various other medical conditions.  I honestly believe that Satan can use these issues to affect our growth and relationship with the Lord.  Feelings of false guilt, anger, and self-doubt can have destructive effects on our ability to worship and walk with God. 

On a personal level, I have struggled with both issues at one time or another.  I decided to make a change in my eating habits a few weeks ago in order to lose weight and get healthier.  After reading this post today, I am encouraged to not let the number on the scale be a spiritual discouragement. 

If you are a woman who has tried over and over again to lose weight…you know every diet forwards and backwards…you become overly emotionally involved in your weight…you are spiritually discouraged in your lack of “self-control”…take heart!  First, take a good, long look at what you want your “ideal” weight to be.  Is it realistic?  Are you trying to judge yourself by what America considers beautiful?  Second, cast your burdens on the Lord and do not let Satan grab hold of your discouragement.  Instead of meditating and always thinking of your weight, meditate and think on things of Christ.  Don’t allow the number on the scale to be a gauge of your spiritual contentment in the Lord.

I am so blessed to have a husband who thinks I am beautiful no matter what.  He has been so encouraging to me over the last few weeks with my new eating/exercise plan.  And, he makes me feel attractive during the times that I am most discouraged.  I realize that many women don’t have this kind of support.  Perhaps your husband or family even expresses disgust at your size.  I would encourage you to run to the open arms of our Savior and find peace and acceptance with Him.  Pray for the discernment to do what is healthiest for your body while not allowing your bathroom scale to take such a stronghold on your heart. 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”   Philippians 4:8

I Won!

I’m so excited to win a bloggy giveaway!  Terry over at Breathing Grace hosted a giveaway of the book Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight by Sheila Wray Gregoire.  Sheila is a Christian author and frequent speaker to women’s groups and marriage conferences.  There’s been a lot of blogger buzz about this book, so I am excited to read it.  I’ll let everyone know how I liked it after I’m done! 

I also encourage you to visit Sheila’s blog To Love, Honor, and Vacuum!

Thanks again, Terry, for hosting this giveaway!

Don’t Make Me Count To Three – Ch. 3

Welcome to the third week of our book study through Ginger Plowman’s Don’t Make Me Count To Three!  I hope everyone had the opportunity to get the book and read through Chapter 3.  If you didn’t, no worries!  Just join along with us anytime.  It’s a quick read and easy to get caught up.

In this chapter, Ginger goes more in-depth about how to draw out issues of the heart.  Her first point was a good one…we need to talk WITH our children, not just TO our children.  This means listening and understanding what they are saying.  My favorite quote from this chapter was on p. 36:

“When you help your child to understand what is in his heart, you are teaching him to evaluate his own motives, which will help to equip him for his walk with Christ as he grows into an adult."

Isn’t that what it’s all about?  Equipping our kids to walk with Christ?  And while we’re helping our kids understand what is in THEIR heart, we also must deal with what is in OUR heart.  I’m going to lay it all on the line…I didn’t realize that I had an anger problem until I had a child of my own.  I find my patience waning thin and my heart welling up with anger at times.  Can’t she be quiet for just ONE MINUTE?  Do I have to help her with everything?  Why can’t she just obey me the first time?  Let’s face it…parenting is hard.  While it brings boundless joy, it also brings to the surface the ugly parts of our own hearts.  I’m constantly working through this with prayer, immersion in God’s Word, and my love for my daughter.  Do I want Grace to see an angry and quick-tempered monster?  Or do I want her to see a kind and forgiving soul?  What kind of parent would God have me to be?  How can I show the love of Christ in my actions towards my child?  Otherwise, why would she ever want to be a Christian?  It’s quite humbling.

For practical use, I love the example Ginger gives about sharing between siblings.  I used her method several times this morning when Grace and the little boy I babysit were arguing about our toys.  Since they are friends, I remembered the verse from Proverbs 17:17 that says “A friend loves at all times.”  The first time there was an issue I spent about five minutes talking with them and asking questions about how we could treat each other with love.  After that, a quick reminder “Are you treating Grace with love?” or “Grace, is that how we treat our friends?” was much more effective.  Until Grace said angrily, “Caleb, you’re not treating me with love!”  That brought up a whole new issue.  Anyway, Ginger’s method helped me this morning, and it definitely helped us focus on the heart issue of WHY we don’t steal toys. 

And that brings me to my last reflection of this chapter.  If we are going to train our children in righteousness, God’s Word must be on the tip of our tongue.  That means we need to spend time in God’s Word!  A good place to start is Proverbs.  There is so much wisdom in this book, especially for mothers!  I learned this habit from my mom, who has a Proverb to answer all questions in life.  There are 31 chapters in Proverbs.  Every day, I read the chapter that corresponds to the date.  For example, today I read Proverbs chapter 2 since it is Feb. 2nd.  Eventually, many of these bits of wisdom will commit themselves to your memory and be useful in your parenting journey.  This habit has greatly helped me, and I needs lots of help!

I hope that many of you will join in and comment on what particularly struck you in this week’s reading.  Even if you didn’t read, feel free to comment below on the topics raised.  Perhaps consider one or more of the following questions:

What are some things you do to draw out matters of the heart in your children?  Why is it important to train our children to think like Christians?  How do you find time as a busy mom to read Scripture?

I look forward to reading your comments!  Next Monday stay tuned for a post on Chapter 4!

And so it starts….

Today President Obama quietly reversed a Bush-administration ban on giving federal money to international groups that fund abortions.  President Reagan adopted the ban in 1984.  It was reversed by President Clinton in 1993, but President George W. Bush re-instituted the ban in 2001.

Now that the ban has been reversed, our taxpayer money will go to family planning groups that offer abortions as a method of birth control. 

The most outlandish statement of the day goes to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., who said the move "will help save lives and empower the poorest women and families to improve their quality of life and their future."

Save lives?  Seriously?  Since when does the promotion of abortion save lives?  How sad it is that the act of killing an unborn child is regarded as an appropriate way to “improve” a woman’s life!  I would venture to say, based on my friendships with women who have had abortions, as well as my experience as a counselor, that few women would claim that their abortion “improved” their life.  For many women, the experience of an abortion includes physical complications and/or infertility, emotional pain, guilt, grief, and regret. 

The real trauma, however, is directed towards the unborn baby in the womb.  I rarely talk about these things, because, frankly, it is almost more than I can handle emotionally.  I have seen videos and heard testimony of doctors and nurses that perform abortions.  The act of abortion is appalling.  It is violent.  It is sickening.  It is murder, and God will judge it.

If you can handle it, there is a good post up today by Jess at Making Home.  She issues a challenge to act on behalf of the unborn among us.

Living Simply Saturdays

I read a powerful post this week on the subject of living simply. The author spoke of seemingly harmless indulgences (in her case, coffee) that temporarily fill our desires while ignoring our deepest needs.

Even seemingly simple things can become substitutes for trusting in God alone to take care of us. This article was very convicting for me. How many times over the years have I done/bought/eaten something that I didn't need just because I had a bad day or "deserved" it after something stressful happened? Instead of praying and casting my burdens upon the One who has given me so much, I relied on worldly pleasures to calm my anxieties.

Another area where I need to trust God more is in the area of finances. I have always worried about money. Now that I stay at home with our daughter and don't work outside the home, I find myself worrying even more. Instead of worrying, what I need to do is be thankful for what God has given me including: a husband who works hard to provide for our family, opportunities for me to earn extra money by working at home (Ebay, sewing, babysitting), and the desire to be a good steward with our money.

I'm still working on the last one. I pray for a heart that is willing (and eager!)to do without many luxuries that other people deem necessary. I don't need a new car or designer clothes or a vacation every year. Grace doesn't need the latest toy or Gap Kids fashion. And I don't need to obsess about the amount of money we have (or don't have) in retirement accounts or savings accounts. God has always provided our needs, sometimes despite unwise purchases. For this I am learning to be more and more thankful. I feel a responsibility to be a good steward of our money by budgeting wisely, thoughtfully spending money, tithing faithfully, and being willing to do without things I don't need. All while trusting in a wise God who is preparing a place for me in heaven.

I'm not saying it is wrong or sinful to buy luxury items or build wealth. I am talking about matters of the heart. Are we being good stewards of our money and trusting in God alone for our ultimate joy and happiness? This is tough, and I'm sure that I will always struggle with this to some degree in my lifetime. What a comfort it is to know that the tastiest Starbucks Venti White Chocolate Mocha or the prettiest Coldwater Creek jacket or the healthiest savings account doesn't begin to compare with the glory of my future home in heaven.